The streets sparkle like silver
now that the rain has changed into snow
I could see a dazzling future the color of a dream
that Christmas Day
I looked at you and smiled
on that holy night,
yet your tears overflowed
"I'll love you forever..." So why?
Now the dancing snow is starting to disappear
I look up at the distant sky
Someone new is waiting for me,
but I still harbor those feelings that I can't shake
We used to laugh together back then;
we weren't afraid of anything
But I hurt your gentle spirit
that Christmas Day
Now I'm wandering aimlessly,
searching for those hopes and dreams
The sky I gaze up at
is too big for me to grasp
even if I were able to reach it So Why?
Now the dancing snow is starting to disappear
I'll take the unwavering feelings of that time
and go forth into a new tomorrow,
because we can't go back to that story
As I keep on walking, I can't help but wonder
as the snowflakes melt in my outstretched hand
if maybe someday we'll meet again
and finally be able to tell each other how we really feel
little miss.
Melina Eng, Lyna or Mel for short.
I breathed my first on 29th July 1993.
Some know me as Little Miss Random,
or the lil emo kid IMMA HAPPY GIRL RIGHT NOW!
Currently studying my forth year in CHIJ Secondary (Toa Payoh)
So here's my life, in bold, italics, and underline.
and she loves photography;
and she loves reading;
and she loves shopping;
and she loves exercising;
and she loves fishing;
and she loves doing her nails;
and she loves hanging out with her friends and family;
and she loves her friends and family;
but most of all, she loves God 'cause He is her mighty saviour :D
There are more to come, but almost all of them can be bought from Forever21 online.
If you get any of these for me anytime soon(cause some of them are final sales), I'll love you even more!
▪ Camera (Any suggestions?)
▪ New Phone(iphone 4)
▪ Headphones!(my earpieces are seriously dying)
▪ Belted Shoulder Bag
▪ Watch
▪ Belts of varying thickness
▪ Black and green jacket/hoodie pullover
▪ Painter's Skinny Jeans
▪ Gently Faded Skinny Jeans
▪ Creased and Frayed Skinny jeans
▪ Decorative Fishnets
▪ Heels
▪ Flats
▪ Put GOD first in my life
▪ Be the salt and the light of the world
▪ Do QT daily
▪ Play the keyboard better
▪ Learn how to play the awesomely rocking Bass and the totally slammin' drums
▪ Run every weekday and GET THOSE SKINNY LEGS ASAP
▪ Attend prayer meetings
▪ Meet my (RL)fandoms!
♥Listening to: Precious One, KAT-TUN ♥Mood: tired ♥Location: in the hall
Rush rush, watching a movie today, Wee Chong's treating. :D 2012 again, but it's a nice movie. The 3D version is not out yet, darn. Sad, four people going including myself are watching it later. Everyone's busy today! The hike wasn't too bad. At least no one got hurt. Almost sprained my ankle today while walking to the bus stop, thank God I didn't. Gomen to Hui Ying for being so busy contacting people and that I didn't really manage to hold a conversation to you on the way home.
♥Listening to: Everything, 4men ♥Mood: tired ♥Location: in the hall
No pictures, no colours, no nothing cause blogger is acting all screwy again. Time to give blogger some love yo.
Went out with Jac and Hui on Tuesday to Escape, rode a couple of rides and dried off on the Kite Flyer before going cycling. VIKING IS AWESOME. :D While going down a rather steep slope, I avoided this cyclist but I went off the cement path and crashed. Eight bruises and a couple of scratches, nothing too serious. Had late night chats with Sylvia and Cheryl Boey and watched dramas in the day until Friday. After losing track of time, I went to church for Botanical Gardens Day, thinking that it was Saturday. BGD on Saturday was great. Although it rained, but we had our fun. Xuewei is officially the new Hui Qi. Nothing much today, other than bumping into Guo Liang after lunch and chatted with him for a while. Headed home after that for an evening run and stopped when I had slight difficulty in breathing. Not all that recovered from the flu yet, I guess. Appa finally bought white glue. :D That sentence deserves a smiley, even though I'm dead beat.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Abracadabra[ 12:59 PM ]
Make every disappear.
♥Listening to: G.O.O.D. Luv, MBLAQ ♥Mood: annoyed ♥Location: in the hall
Like STFU already. So what if the music is on too loud, I like it that way. Besides, it's not my fault that the ear pieces are like that.
So, RE didn't say anything on their website that I can't look for another job while waiting for them to reply. I have three jobs that I can try out for but what if RE finds out and there is really a fine for that? To go, or not to go? This job came from my BFF and now she's not even replying. She may be busy, but not too busy to reply a text message, yes?
Thanks to this, now there won't be any money for me to spend during my stay at Hokkaido, Japan. Stupid shit.
On a brighter note, BGD(Botanical Garden Day) is in about an hours time! Funny thing happened yesterday. I thought i was on the phone with Sylvia love on Friday, so like when it past 12 midnight, I thought the it was Saturday and went to church for BGD and the camp comm were like, "What are you here for?" Gosh, it was so embarrassing.
Late night chats with Cheryl(Boey) and Sylvia love sure is a great way to do catching up. 'Kay, got to rip the audio from a video now before I do some packing.
No picture to start this post, cause I'm really rushing. CG is starting in 15 minutes! OMGOSH! So like anyways, (gosh, that was bimbotic) I edited the header, changed the background and the playlist. I wanted the colour scheme for the playlist to be pink, but somehow blue suits it better. You know what, never mind. Pink suits it just fine. Just because. ;D
Anyways, whatev to the fact that umma's nagging at me now. WHATEV. I have Big Bang's Koe wo Kokasete to calm down plus I'm going to leave the house for CG like now. NOW.
hoshi no kazu hodo iru hito no naka de boku wa guuzen, ano hi deai koi ni ochita yo
ai ga kurushimi da to moshi oshieraretemo boku wa mayowazu ni kimi wo eranda darou
kono sora de kazoekirenai hoshi ga umarete wa hitoshirezu kiete yuku yo
"kimi wo ai shiteru" sonna hitokoto ga kazarazu ni ieta nara donna ni raku nan darou mou nido to kimi wo nakasetakunai kara nanigenai kyou to iu hi ga bokura no kinenbi
nanka fushigi nanda kimi ga boku wo suki na riyuu ga wakaranai yo... sonna mon kana?
shumi ya shigusa datte chigatte iru keredo saikin, nite kita... to mawari ni iwareru uso tsuite kimi wo nakaseta ano hi tada boku wa damatta mama nani mo dekizu
kimi ga iru dake de arifureta hibi ga azayaka ni irodorare ai ga michite yuku yo kono kimochi dake wa wasuretakunai kara nanigenai kyou to iu hi ga bokura no kinenbi
"kimi wo ai shiteru" sonna hitokoto ga kazarazu ni ieta nara donna ni raku nan darou mou nido to kimi wo nakasetakunai kara nanigenai kyou to iu hi ga bokura no kinenbi
---
There are as many people as there are stars And one day, by chance, out of all those people, I met you and fell in love
Even if someone had told me that love is pain I would still have chosen you without hesitation
In this sky, countless stars are born And die without anyone knowing it
Those words, “I love you” How much better I would have felt if I’d just come out and said them I never want to make you cry again So today, this random day, is our anniversary
It’s kind of mysterious – you like me too I don’t know why…is that why?
We have different hobbies and mannerisms But lately we’ve become alike…that’s what everyone says That day when I told a lie and made you cry I just kept quiet, unable to do anything
Just having you here brings vivid colours To these ordinary days, and fills me with love I don’t want to forget this feeling So today, this random day, is our anniversary
Those words, “I love you” How much better I would have felt if I’d just come out and said them I never want to make you cry again So today, this random day, is our anniversary ---
A day ago, I went for a wake. Roland Soo, a wonderful teacher, a wonderful pianist, a wonderful brother, we'll miss you. His children were crying so badly and even till now I can still picture his daughter crying.
We'll miss you.
Yesterday and today was mostly drama watching. I'll make sure appa buys Gokusen the Movie back. I don't care, HE MUST. Worship practice at 730 later, will be practicsing after some drama watching. ;D
Cheers.
P.S. There's research to do for the upcoming Geography trip. Oh wow.
For all your warmth and kindness For the person that you are I'm wishing that this birthday is your nicest one
For the thoughtful Things you do For all the Joy you spread I'm wishing life's very best throughout the year ahead
Have a blessed birthday, my love.
You deserve more than a text message, more than a couple of words. You deserve a birthday post, just for you! Of course, a hug will be given to you on Saturday. ;D
Happy Sweet 16th, Na! Finally, you're 16. You can watch as many NC16 movies as you want and you can find a proper job too! Anyways, back to the real wishing~
I've always been glad to have known you in this small world, in this lifetime. I thank God for bringing you into not only mine but many other lives, adding colours of the rainbow to make life more interesting. He has brought you through so many years and with many blessings along the way. Looking back, it has already been 16 years since you breathed your first and you're doing alive and well, to this day! Amen to that!
You've grown so much, from being adorable and immature to still looking adorable(and pretty) and extremely mature for your age. Although you have faced countless problems along the way, always remember to stand up and keep moving forward. Your friends, family and of course our Heavenly Father will always give our full support to you. God doesn't give us things that are impossible for us. He gives us such trials to mold us to become a better person, to be more like Him. When you're tired, pray. If you're still tired, go and sleep!
Although the life of a sec four may seem daunting, but if you have gotten this far, this proves to show that you can go even further, for the only true failure is when one stops trying. Believe in yourself, believe in the Father. For life is a mixture of sunshine and rain. Laughter and teardrops, pleasure and pain. Low tides and high tides, mountains and plains, triumphs, defeats and losses and gains. But there never was a cloud that the Son didn't shine through and there's nothing impossible for Jesus Christ to do!
Matt 5: 13-16
13"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
'Never allow someone to be your priority
While allowing yourself to be their option'
♥Listening to:Koe wo Kikasete (Club Mix), Big Bang ♥Mood: pensive
♥Location: in the hall
I've decided to let go, to move on, to not brood over it anymore, to be happy. We both got enough of each other, I guess. It's time to let go cause there's no reason for me to be around, for me to hang on to something that can never be relived. We can't go back to that story, never again.
Sure, we shared our lives with each other. We shared all the laughs and tears. Through thick and thin but everything was short-lived. If a friendship can last only this long and to have so many problems along the way, it's best to let go. BFFs. The 'forever' sure was long. Oh wow.
True friends.
I finally found them and I've got three, no four in fact. One of them being the obvious, our Father in Heaven for He will never fail me. Truth really does hurts and when people change, you won't know which way they'll go. Only thing is, as long as we're standing on the same spot and looking at the same direction, we'll be fine.
So, it's time to get up from this dump and let go. Cause, you are not worthy of me. It's your loss, not mine. Yours, not mine.
Goodbye, our sweet memories will forever be in my heart.
every person individually, no matter who they are carry troubles as they live
and desperately hold onto their broken heart
♥Listening to:Koe wo Kikasete (Club Mix), Big Bang ♥Mood: calm
♥Location: in the hall
-Point form, cause the full update is long.
-Friday was awesome cause I ATTENDED NLW'S MONTHLY PRAYER MEETING! :D Saw Na, Jill, and a couple more youths. Made fun of the Chinese dub of some English movie and laughed with Jill.
-Umma totally ruined my plans for Saturday cause she had to bring me to the Doctor. Thanks to that, I couldn't help Jill with her umma's birthday present. Had to cancel out on Michelle too, cause I had Prayer meeting at three and I had to meet her at one, so it was impossible for me to make it back in time for Prayer Meeting. Prayer Meeting turned out to be a mini CG session cause of the mini sharing session after the main prayers.
-Sunday was dry, cause I was distracted by many things going through my mind. Even after countless prayers, I was still feeling distracted. HQ and I were late for Confi Class so we attended the 130pm class. We made friends with Guo Liang who is attending this class as a Baptism class, not Confi class. He's another person who couldn't get my anme right and ended up calling me Mel. ;D Not that I mind but it's still a mystery to me as for why people get my name wrong. He kept calling me 'Melanie'.
P.S. Koe wo Kikasete is on repeat. The club remix that is.
yeah, since you went away hasn't been the same in my heart, all I got is pain could it be that I played a game to lose you, I can't maintain sunlight, moonlight, you lit my life, realize in the night while love shines bright cant let you go; we're meant forever, baby let me know
Had a wonderfully weird dream with Jin, Kame and myself on Thursday night to Friday morning.
I have no idea how but the dream started out with the three of us at some sheltered pathway. Apparently they were taking me to somewhere but they never really did mention where. Out of the blue, Jin told Kame to eat the chocolate they got from earlier before going into this factory of some sort. Just as they were done popping it into their mouth and resumed walking, I went and hugged Jin from behind, making puppy dog eyes as I asked him for some too when he turned. He then bit the chocolate he was eating into half and fed it to me. I licked the melted chocolate off his fingers too.Kame was standing nearby, watching everything with a blank expression on his face.
When we entered the place, Kame disappeared. Like really, out of the picture, no where to be found. Suddenly Jin grabbed my hand and we started running. In and out of rooms we went. There were many girls in each room that tried to separate us, either by force or by words, saying words like a wasn't a virgin, having slept with uncountable number of men. To put it simply, they were saying that I was some whore. We just kept running, hand in hand with Jin tossing assuring glances at me. He didn't believed a single word they said, I was glad. We then entered a corridor where two hordes of girls were waiting for us. Like gladiators they charged at us, pulling us apart. Jin was shouting my name and I was shouting his as we reached for each other but the girls were two strong.e were out numbered, obviously. Not only did they manage to separate us, they managed to throw me on the ground. Armed with eggs, metal poles and fire extinguishers, they hit me with whatever they got, laughing sadistically.
They sprayed at my face and I was blinded for a sometime but I felt as if I had dreamed about this part and knew the outcome. Quickly, I garnered all my strength, broke free from the girls and went to drag Jin away from the horrifying fangirls before making a run for it. He lead the run soon after he regained his balance and our hands interlocked.
I have no memory whatsoever after that other than us standing at the sheltered path again, just the two of us. Suddenly I was walking down alongside some street stalls, all cleaned up. Feeling bored, I rang up Kame. His voice was husky and he sounded tired. Looks like I woke him up from his slumber. I told him that I was bored and went on to tell him what happened just now with Jin, jumping from random topic to random topic. He then interjected, but I forgot what he said. I could only remember him saying irately, "Go read some magazines then!" After concluding that he was mad cause Jin and I left him out earlier, or maybe he was jealous. Then I woke up.
Darn, I wished I remembered more of it. I find it weird that I was so close to Jin in this dream when actually Kame's my Ichiban.
No pictures or the usual music, mood, location this time, cause I swore to myself that I would sleep after reading that 20 chapter fic. Gosh it was long, but it was good. Kept me up for hours! Sigh, the things that flew through my mind were rather depressing, so to say. Even with all the fluff going on in the fic.
I am...a coward.
There, I said it. I ran away from things, I refuse to accept reality. Being in denial, living in my own made up fantasy world, my only nirvana. It seems so much happier that way, so much safer from all the troubles of the world. Thing is, one must learn how to step down from cloud nine and garner up all the courage one has and face reality.
It thundered, just now. Not only did it echo through the whole house, it made everything shake. The ground was shaking so hard as if a major tremour just hit it due to the aftermath of some earthquake at some place in some part of the world. Maybe I'm exaggerating but you get the idea. A wave of fear overwhelmed me. It was going to rain, but it didn't. Thank goodness for that.
Like any other similar situations, I'll avoid it, I'll not look up over there anymore, I'll not make it my daily routine to go there anymore when I know so well that it will only bring me hurt. It may not be raining outside, but it's raining inside. I wished it would stop raining for I thought I would be over it by now, but no. Obviously I'm not when it comes running straight to me everyday.
I wanted my eyes to be blinded by sunlight, not fatigued from the many tears I have shed. I wanted to say or rather, shout these words.
"You're the worst mistake I've ever made. I want to give up on you, once and for all."
It sounds harsh, doesn't it? That's why I won't say it cause it is too unlike me to say something like that. I'm not known for saying such words and I don't want to. Why is it that when I do something downright unlike me, when it is really just part of another facet, they are appalled by it and in some cases, it damages the friendship?
The only thing I can do is to harangue myself for all the mistakes that I've made, but honestly speaking I am flabbergasted by the reaction given. We used to laugh together, we weren't afraid of anything. Now even speaking much less a whisper between us is like a taboo of some sort.
I can't accept the fact that it's over, but it is.
One more thing,
Happy Sweet 16th, Huilin.
I shall end here, cause raking up the past is depressing. There's no one to cry to, there never was.
