Gibberish fills the air
[ 11:05 PM ]

when everything else is tuned out.♥Listening to: The tele.
♥Mood: Calm
♥Location: in the hall, home alone
Been working all day on it what not even a simple 'thank you'.
Been cutting, back aching, hand cramping and you have no idea how much it took for me to complete it.
Oh wow.
Am really tired now, and I find no joy in using the computer now, since I did what needed to do, there's nothing left. Random videos and Kame pictures don't interest me now, may be the pictures a little but I'd rather do my QT.
Hope to go out with Via soon, and omgosh, HOKKAIDO ON THE 14TH! :D
Cheers.
Labels: banger's overload., God, just not my cup of sundae, little miss random strikes again., rant
Abracadabra
[ 12:59 PM ]
Make every disappear. ♥Listening to: G.O.O.D. Luv, MBLAQ♥Mood: annoyed♥Location: in the hallLike STFU already. So what if the music is on too loud, I like it that way. Besides, it's not my fault that the ear pieces are like that.
So, RE didn't say anything on their website that I can't look for another job while waiting for them to reply. I have three jobs that I can try out for but what if RE finds out and there is really a fine for that? To go, or not to go? This job came from my BFF and now she's not even replying. She may be busy, but not too busy to reply a text message, yes?
Thanks to this, now there won't be any money for me to spend during my stay at Hokkaido, Japan. Stupid shit.
On a brighter note, BGD(Botanical Garden Day) is in about an hours time! Funny thing happened yesterday. I thought i was on the phone with Sylvia love on Friday, so like when it past 12 midnight, I thought the it was Saturday and went to church for BGD and the camp comm were like, "What are you here for?" Gosh, it was so embarrassing.
Late night chats with Cheryl(Boey) and Sylvia love sure is a great way to do catching up. 'Kay, got to rip the audio from a video now before I do some packing.
P.S. CAC CAMP NEXT YEAR! :D
Cheers.
Labels: banger's overload., rant
Mirror, mirror on the wall.
[ 1:59 PM ]
♥Listening to: Love Juice, KAT-TUN, Akanishi Jin
♥Location: back in that same room
♥Mood: guilty
Well, my memory's a little rusty now, so I'll try to remember the details.
Yesterday something wonderful happened! No sarcasm, really. ;D
Anyways, Lotte-chan called my phone last evening. My umma was talking to me in a loud voice(that can't really be called scolding, ne Lotte-chan?) and sort of snapped. It was like a you-talk-to-me-this-way-and-I-will-talk-to-you-that-way-too sort of thing.
What's so wrong about talking on the phone? It's not a crime to do that. Like Hello? *waves hand* You need not say "That same friend" every time I get a call, no? It's embarrassing enough that she hears you talking to me in a loud voice, every single time she calls.
When Hui Qi calls(we talk like for 3 hours or more by the way), you don't even say a word. Nothing. Is it just me or are you just being bias to my classmates? They are like me and you yo. Human beings. Living things. We feel.
My apologies for the rant. Just had to get it out of my chest. (:
Well, as I was saying, Lotte-chan called and told me that Kame called her. I could not believe it either. It was impossible, but not that impossible. Now I'm just contradicting myself again. HAHA.Apparently, her mom's friend knows some Japanese guys and one of them happens to be Kame. YES, KAME. The 'K' of KAT-TUN. That Kamenashi Kazuya. Her mom is just cool yo.
---
So they spoke to each other on the phone for like a minute, only a minute. In Japanese, obviously. Unfortunately, she has yet to grasp that language and all she could understand was "How do you do? I'm Kamenashi Kazuya desu.", "Gokusen" and "Ja ne". When I asked if she could remember anything he said so that she could ask her sensei to translate, she was like, "Shit."She told me her very happy secret. (: As a friend, you would be happy for her right? Right?
RIGHT? Well, guess what I said.
"You always call to tell me things that make me jealous."
Even if it was said jokingly, I really shouldn't really have said it.
Hontouni gomenasai, Lotte-chan.
Way to go Mel, way to go. Maybe I'm taking this chotto seriously, but it was on my mind for like a couple of hours and I felt much better only after writing it on a piece of foolscap which is now missing. HAHAH.
She called to spread the joy, hoping that I would be happy for her. Only to hear such a disgusting remark. I am truly, very happy that you called to tell me that. Even though I was jealous that didn't give me the right to say such things. It didn't really sink in until she said, "not to make you jealous or anything..." during a later part of our conversation.
I was busy finishing up my homework until about 10. So, it was about three whole hours of reflecting, spacing out and feeling bad.
That's about it I guess. It's good to stop and reflect at times, but not too much or I'll be a lil emo kid. Really, have you read my older blog posts? I scan through a couple of them while searching for the post with the LOL DBSK video and found out that I really was a lil emo kid.
Not so much now, though. All thanks to my wonderfully awesome and totally lovable friends! ♥
Labels: ♥, random, rant
Hiatus post01
[ 10:17 PM ]
It was *toot* annoying today. The *toot* loud construction workers were making so much *toot* noise during Math class today. *toot* them all man. At least *toot* do it after school or something and not *toot* disturb us.
Is still feeling kind of annoyed but whatever, today's more or less over.
---
Even after going through 26 pages on photobucket, I've yet to find a suitable picture for my banner. Unfortunately, time isn't on my side today. After completing most of Lotte-chan's card, it was around 9pm and there's still Chinese homework to be done. Not to mention that I'm extremely tired now.
Time to hit the pillows and get up, all refreshed and ready to go at 330am.
Labels: frustrated., rant, stressed
annoying annoying ANNOYING!!!
[ 8:19 PM ]
rah. i'm so pissed right now. seriously, i know that this is wrong. honouring my parents. bah. it's just so hard. i just..i can't.. argh. damn it. i mean what did i do wrong? why must you fuss over every little thing? i'm still a teen. i have my life. don't steal mine and don't, and i really mean DON'T shatter my dreams. if you do, that's it man.
first it started with me using the com too long. fine, that indeed was my fault. SORRY ALRIGHT? then it was the fork and spoon, i mean. i was spacing out that time, so it was only natural that i agree to what you said. but no, you just had to flare up. then i accidentally dropped a piece of fish as i was trying to take out the hair. and she scolded me again. what are the chances of it being my hair? how is it possible that my hair was able to fly to a rando piece of fish that was rather far from me? plus, that was a thin stran of hair, mine is thick damn you.
(i know. chillax melina, but not now. not until i've said enough)
then after that she scolded me for leaving the com on. that was my fault, but the computer was loading something! HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO KNOW THAT IT WOULD TAKE SO LONG TO INSTALL THOSE STUFF?! BLAM THE COM, NOT ME. i was afraid that i if i offed it, something bad might happen. with me not having my good days, this kind of stuff were bond to happen. july, my birthday month, but somehow i dilike it just a tad bit.
then it was was innies. i was told to eat damn you. you asked me to do so, and now you're blaming it on me?!? argh. so, i have bad memory, ALRIGHT? I SUCK ALRIGHT? ONE DAY I'LL JUST DIE, AND I BET YOU WOULD BE GLAD THAT I DID. YOU PERSON WITH NO EMPATHY.
you prepared the meals. it was only right that i washed, so i did. you gave me extra money and stuff, i'm grateful for that despite having to worry about the money problem. you raised me up. BUT YOU TREATED ME AS AN 'EXPERIMENT' BABY, AND YOU MADE ME LIVE THIS KIND OF LIFE. COMPARING ME TO MY SIBLINGS. I KNOW I'M STUPID, YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUB IT IN, ALRIGHT? I HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOUR WHATEVER CRAP.
i know you are worried about your brother and all, but do you mind? i have feelings too. i'm not a pillow that you could just punch and kick and as if nothing ever happened. i can feel. i'm extremely sensitive to words, mind you. AND I AM YOUR DAUGHTER , MIND YOU.
YET, YOU KNOW NOTHING MUCH ABOUT MY LIFE. I TRY TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT, YET YOU DIDN'T WANT TO LISTEN AS YOU ARE TOO ANGRY, OR WHEN YOU WEREN'T I FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT.
i have been rather rude, but what do you expect from a 15 year old? your time and my time is way different. it IS NOT THE SAME. CHECK UP THE DICTIONARY FOR THE DEFINITION OF 'SAME' 'IDENTICAL' OR WHATEVER. you would expect a mature girl who listens to whatever you say. speak plitely and not ding zui.
aye, but I AM ME. I AM LIKE THAT. deal with it.
i can change, if you give me time, but you are not. and i'm sick of it. you tore down my motivation. called me awful names that left scars on my heart. made me cry. scolded and beated me in public. shouted at me in public.
do you know how terrible i felt? do you know how much i had to go through? do you know that i had
9 bfs? do you know what it was like having to go through such a life in such a time? do you?
i know that being a mother is hard. i can tell. i know that i'm not able to experience it first hand now. but i time i will. but for now, just let me be this daughter of yours and stop doing things that will permenantly scar me for life. you have done enough damage. so stop.
i dislike you for doing such things. i really do. but i love you too. but only when you are happy.
you can get really annoying crappy fcuked up sometimes. i can tell that daddy is unhappy about it too. but he can do nothing. you go daddy. you are awesome man.
Dear lord,
help me to really understand what my mother is going through and that i'll be more sensible in time to come. i have done many wrong things in bothe of your eyes. and i really hope that you would forgive me. i just pray that everything will be alright now. that it will be going uphill..that the path will be straight. guide me oh Lord. i lift all my burdens, all my stress, all my worries, everything oh Lord into your hands.
AMEN.
Labels: depressed., emo, rant
fine, so what!?
[ 10:52 PM ]
hey, what's the problem?
i thought you would understand me.
but NO, you just had to say "what, you crazy ah?!"
hey, i've been sitting infront of this damn com, working on my geog project.
yeah sure i wasted about 2 hours doing my personal stuff and all, but hey, i was distracted.
what do you expect from me?
i've been your daughter for 15 years. you should know something about me by now. Other than i like to play ps2 games, or photography.
i mean, like duh, even my friends know that. You can be a pain in the rear sometimes.
seven reports, two domn. each over 400 words. That's hell lot of words man.
So what do i get in return? you saying that i'm crazy.
argh. you know what? next time, i'll just sit there and ignore you. even if you scold beat whatever, i don't care. you just don't understand me. and i don't unedrstand how could you not have done so. i'll just ignore the hell out of you.
boy, you're so lucky that i calm down after some typing. damn you all.
i'm typing, doesn't mean i'm chatting with my lovable friends. you com idiot.
Labels: rant
so what.
[ 7:44 AM ]
yeah. what say you?
i like what i see, that's why i bought it.(and it was not on impulse)
if you don't like it then pfft. as if i care.
as long as i look good wearing it, then it's fine.
i mean, would you buy something that totally isn't you and you don't look nice wearing it? okay what about this. if you bought something and it looks awesome on you, but it just doesn't bring out the YOU in YOU, or you just don't feel right, why waste money on it?
so, would you rather buy something not as nice but look great or buy something that is so totally 'in' and look not as great?
it's how you carry yourself with it.
not what you are wearing.
if you don't feel good, then meeh, don't buy it.
also, if you wear it properly, it wouldn't look like you picked it out from some garage sale or something.
there i've said my piece. NOW i'm happy. :D
Labels: rant
THE HORROR.
[ 10:47 AM ]
MATH PAPER IS TOMORROW!!!argh. yes. tomorrow.so what am i doing now??rah.
well, i hope i'm able to do it.
*pray* PRAYER can do miraculous things~
so, yeah. i've been facing numbers, inequality signs, number lines, quadratic equations, division signs, unknowns, and a huge chunk of words that i have no idea what it means.
Plus, i got a slight fever.
-SEE? too much math!-
argh.
gonna shower now..yes i know its late. XD
then REVISE REVISE REVISE.
PRAY PRAY PRAY .
SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
ZzZzZz
ZzZz...Labels: rant
SS and PoA..
[ 4:23 PM ]
Gosh, it was like hell today.
Though I would like to thank God for providing me with peace in my mind.
Though the SS paper went rather well, the PoA was not as 'OHWOW' as i though it would be.
It sucked. It
TOTALLY sucked.I couldn't balance the balance sheet, only to find out that I used the 'closing stock' twice, and left out the 'opening stock'.
AND AND! The gross profit and net profit was like
BLEAH.I seriously think that I am gonna fail..But why?Why must it be this way.why?Well. *sighs*Just a short rant today.Heading off for tuition now. ...Labels: rant