Dive Into The Heart

The streets sparkle like silver
now that the rain has changed into snow
I could see a dazzling future the color of a dream
that Christmas Day

I looked at you and smiled
on that holy night,
yet your tears overflowed
"I'll love you forever..." So why?

Now the dancing snow is starting to disappear
I look up at the distant sky
Someone new is waiting for me,
but I still harbor those feelings that I can't shake

We used to laugh together back then;
we weren't afraid of anything

But I hurt your gentle spirit
that Christmas Day
Now I'm wandering aimlessly,
searching for those hopes and dreams

The sky I gaze up at
is too big for me to grasp
even if I were able to reach it So Why?

Now the dancing snow is starting to disappear
I'll take the unwavering feelings of that time
and go forth into a new tomorrow,
because we can't go back to that story

As I keep on walking, I can't help but wonder
as the snowflakes melt in my outstretched hand
if maybe someday we'll meet again
and finally be able to tell each other how we really feel

Melina Eng, Lyna or Mel for short.
I breathed my first on 29th July 1993.
Some know me as Little Miss Random,
or the lil emo kid IMMA HAPPY GIRL RIGHT NOW!
Currently studying my forth year in CHIJ Secondary (Toa Payoh)

So here's my life, in bold, italics, and underline.

and she loves photography;
and she loves reading;
and she loves shopping;
and she loves exercising;
and she loves fishing;
and she loves doing her nails;
and she loves hanging out with her friends and family;
and she loves her friends and family;
but most of all, she loves God 'cause He is her mighty saviour :D

Free Web Counters

There are more to come, but almost all of them can be bought from Forever21 online.
If you get any of these for me anytime soon(cause some of them are final sales), I'll love you even more!

▪ Camera (Any suggestions?)
▪ New Phone(iphone 4)
▪ Headphones!(my earpieces are seriously dying)
▪ Belted Shoulder Bag
▪ Watch
▪ Belts of varying thickness
▪ Black and green jacket/hoodie pullover
▪ Painter's Skinny Jeans
▪ Gently Faded Skinny Jeans
▪ Creased and Frayed Skinny jeans
▪ Decorative Fishnets
▪ Heels
▪ Flats

▪ Put GOD first in my life
▪ Be the salt and the light of the world
▪ Do QT daily
▪ Play the keyboard better
▪ Learn how to play the awesomely rocking Bass and the totally slammin' drums
▪ Run every weekday and GET THOSE SKINNY LEGS ASAP
▪ Attend prayer meetings
▪ Meet my (RL)fandoms!

Expanding my army.

crunchyroll ♦ shattered-wings
deviantart ♦ twilight-reflection
facebook ♦ ribbonized
lastfm ♦ twoanyone
livejournal ♦ loveproof_not
twitter ♦ _MMHN
plurk ♦ ribbonized

ALRIGHT YO!

Lets just take it back a day,to my birthday! :D
Yes, yes, I FEEL SO LOVED!

THANK YOU TO ALL!

-Three five-ians
(Yes, they sang me a birthday song, and many wished me happy birthday again! XD Thanks to Tiffany and Val. Wong who gave me such wonderful presents! :D)

-Kenna
(na! My dearest na, TYVM for everthing! :D)

-Suzanne
( I love your pressie! :D TYVM! )

-Hui Qi

-Adrian
(haha, I really have so much to say, but I can't seem to express it in words. Even a 'Thank you' wouldn't be enough :D)

-Wee Chong

-Ling Hui
( Sorrae babe,I kept losing your number! D:)

-Kendra
(Thanks for everything :D)

-Xue Wei
(Heee~ you and your high-ness XD)

-Sylvia
(A post just for me? Why Thank you!)

-ABBY!
(Love you babe! Missing you oh so much! Thanks for the sweet post!)

-Kaylyn

-Tricia(of 2/4, '07)

-Adeline

-Leonard
(Yay, thanks for the soon to come keyboard pedal :D)

-Elieen
(Don't cry prettae, or you won't be prettae anymore yo. XD)

-Ms Koh Ai Wee! :D
( She was the only teacher who wished me happy birthday! XIE XIE LAO SHI :D)

-Claudine
(thanks for the drawing ^^)

-Sarah
(kawaii imouto-san desu! XD Thanks for the hugs, and the soon to come prepaid card :D)

-Ice-kun
Even if you forgot my birthday, its alright. Just wanted to say Thanks for listening to me :D I love you as a friend, and nothing more. I'm truly sorry.

:D Yeah, and even after my birthday, there were still many people wishing me a happy belated birthday, HOW SWEET OF THEM :D


Oh, and just one thing, SARAH, STOP POKING ME! EACH TIME YOU DO, my reaction would be some sick 'moaning' sound, that that is just WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS, yo!


SUPER SPECIAL ULTRA THANKS TO...

-Kenna!
na na nana~ na na nana~ yeah..
YOU ARE THE MUSIC IN ME! :D Thanks for all the prayers and, well, EVERYTHING! :D
I'll always have a shoulder to lean on, to cry on :)

-Hui Qi!
haha, Bimbo la you~
KIDDING!
XD out of all the sec threes in church, you were one of the closest to me, other than na and Su. Thanks for everything and that sweet birthday message. I was so touched that when I read it, I felt like crying. :D

-Xue Bass! ( aka, Suzanne Tan, Small Suzanne, SUSU Milk Milk, Xue Zen, SU, etc.)
You never fail to put a smile on my face :D Thanks for the lovely and super useful present yo! You can always find me or any of the other sec threes for help, yeah? :D

-Shannen!
Yeah, babe, YOU! Thanks for remembering my birthday :D One of the best seating partner next to Val. Wong :D

-Tiffany!
You surprised me with the gift, and it was such an adorable one too :D Thanks for not only the present, but everything else too! :D haha, you were the one of the first few friends I made when I first came into this school :D

-Valerie Wong!
Yeah, you! Then who?
Sitting beside you was such fun. Thanks to our banner painting sessions, I never would have gotten to know you and your awesome self :D You have superb art skills, and you are fine in every way :D Yes, yes! I LOVE YOUR PRESENT :D I'M USING IT AND IT ROCKS :D

-Chelsea!
haha, we were suppose to like, exchange gifts, but NEVER MIND! :D
Thanks for all the support! :D

-Adrian!
Last but definitely not the least, YOU! Then who? XDD You've been de-stressing me, encouraging and supporting me ever since...haha, EVER! :D thanks for everything yo! It was such fun talking to you. XD

Yes yes, all these wonderful people that GOD has blessed me with~THANK YOU GOD!
Another year flew by, and it was great in it's own special way. ^^ It helped me to not only grow closer to GOD, but to my friends too~

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Hmm, the day it self wasn't as good as I thought it would be. The two CAs(English and PoA0 and the last few lessons literally drained the life out of me. I felt so tired. My dinner wasn't as FABULOUS as I thought it would be. I compared everything with ST, so yeah.

The chawanmushi there just sucks. It tasted something like the one in school, except only a tad bit better. The rice that came with the pieces of sushi was so little. D: The salmon with rice, mayo and that orange fish egg thing was the worst of all. It look so good, but it tasted extremely horrible. It was like, felt like I was eating some soft flour thing. DISGUSTING. They were blatantly trying to copy ST, but failed miserably. Oh, and the teriyaki chicken sauce was just horrible. It made the chicken too sweet cause it was like, absorbing the sauce and all. D: like, EW.

The wasabi was nice though. It was sort of different as compared to ST, but it was still alright. The yellow tail thing was just awesome, you got to try it to believe it. The sashimi was good. My sister ordered about 3 plates of it. XD Then came the sea urchin. It was like, 14 dollars for two pieces of sea urchin sushi. One was like, 7 dollars. IT WAS SUPERB I TELL YOU. :D

Okay okay, after that, I got another HAPPY BIRTHDAY from Val. Wong! :D Thanks babe! :D


hmm, I wondered what happened to him. He got like, suspended and all. Plus, I finally told him I wouldn't mind going out with him, but he said next time. Like,WTH? The one and only time I agreed to go out with him and he was like, next time. Fine, be that way. I only wanted to see how H.O.T you were anyways. Hmm, how did Kenna find out about him being suspended anyway? D: Guys don't reject me, I reject them. You are the last one to do so yo.

jealousy reeks.

Labels: happy birthday to me

hmmm, in two hours and 37 mins, I would be a 15 year old. I should get a "day-off", right? No tests. Nothing. But no, they just had to put two CAs tomorrow. Oh wow.

Labels: ...

hey there! :)

Before I start with the usual update and all...



Abby is such a good girl, that she started studying Geog since yesterday! :D YOU GO GIRL! we shall mug together yo!



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I was awaken by my mom. She said that we had to leave early for two reasons. The first was that there was a weekly Prayer Meeting at 9am in the Clubhouse, level three. The second reason was that both my parents had to practice some stuff as they were back-up singers for that day.



Well, I went to church and I was totally overdressed. Since it was the sunday closest to my birthday, I just HAD to dress nicely, no matter how overdressed I was. The moment I stepped into the Clubhouse, Su was like O.O at me. ^^'



Then we had a one hour long prayer meeting. Almost immediately after the ending prayer, Su called both Hui Qi and I to go into the music room. She then gave us OUR EARLY BIRTHDAY PRESENTS! THANK YOU SO MUCH SU! Kenna then tried playing Happy Birthday on the piano but she couldn't figure out the chords. Thanks anyway na :)



-3 mins left to post-



Both Hui Qi and I gave Su a big hug, whiole saying our thank yous! :D We then headed out of the room, and Kendra exclaimed, " Why do you guys have presents? I want one too!"

She paused and realized that our birthday was next week. Hui Qi's Birthday is on the 31st of July, while mine is on the 29th of July. hee~



Then came worship, where May Lin came and sat next to me. I practically fell asleep in the first half of the service. well, i was dozing off. ^^' I blame myself for sleeping so late the previous night.

I chatted with her about random things, and somehow we moved from one topic to another, forming links to here and there :D Then I fell asleep again around the time where the people were being babptized/confirmed. Thankfully May shook me just in time to hear Xue Wei's name being called out, and she was finally baptized. :D

Next were the sec fours who were being confirmed. Ming Hui, Ling Hui, Hui En(Kendra), Jolene(yu xian?), Si Qi and Xin Pei. Ming Hui, Ling Hui, Kendra and Jolene are also known as MingLingHuiYU :D We clapped and cheered. :D

Next year, it would be our turn. as in, Na, Su, Hui Qi, and I. Not sure about Alicia and Xue Wei though. Since Xue wei just got baptized, and Alicia...well, I'm not sure about her. ^^'

Sfter service, Jasmine, my adorable little godsister came running over, and wished me Happy Birthday while passing me this huge present thing. :D I searched around for my godmum, and found her near the exit. I ran over, Yes ! yes! I RAN WITH HEELS. You know I rock. XD I gave her a big hug, and many thank yous. :D

Headed over to Huiqi and followed Su down for lunch as Hui Qi had to rush off to get her photo taken for her ic. We decided to eat in church. Bee hoon, a fishball and a sausage. :) We ate in the Clubhouse!!! XD Eventhough I told both Hui QI and Su that I will not open my presents until my birthday, but it was so temping...

I ended up opening all my presents after Su persuaded me to do so(she wanted to se my reaction! heee~). She bought me this super adorable light green wallet with white polka dots. The back had a pink heart outlined with a darker shade of pink. it had the word Fluff in it. The front was a adorable glammed up ladbug! :D It was designed in the USA. Awesomeness, no?

Next was my godmum's present. She gave me a Box of something and Su and I were trying to open it carefully. It was taped to the wrapping paper to make sure that I couldn't just pull the box out from the side(now that is called smart wrapping! :D).

Inside was another small box, which contained a small, glossy, black DnG wallet. :D and a red packet wich had 20 bucks in it! XD Last but not least, there was a set of clothing that I can't seem to describe it to you. ^^'

Oh, and MICHELLE, MY 'TWIN' CAME! She passed me this little note book that she bought from Daiso(a shop at Plaza Singapura which sells awesomely cheap stuff :D). She wrote in every single page! All those mushy sisterly love stuff. How sweet of her to do so!! :D Not only that, she MADE me this really nice handphone keychain.

I LOVE YOU MICHELLE! YOU KNOW I DO AND I ALWAYS WILL! TILL DEATH DO US APART! :D

Yay! :D

I then played with John WHEEEEEE~, Wei Xiang, Li Qi and dprita. We played with balloons. Not blowing them, but playing with them :D We were acting spastically throughout the whole time yo. XD

Balloons were flying around as if it was in a hurricane. :D Oh, and did I ever tell you that Li Qi is immune to all my annoyingly loud ringtones? I mean, EVEN WEI XIANG IS AFFECTED BY THEM. LIKE, OMGOSH. XD( Please excuse the Bimbo-ness. XD )

Then I slacked and read my book, took some random photos and went home only after finding out (to my dissapointment) that My family was going to celebrate MY BIRTHDAY on the ACTUAL DAY, AT GENKI SUSHI. I walked home IN MY HEELS Wearing my awesomeness tube top that was bought at bugis, my black skinnys and carrying this sliver/grey bag.

hee~ I slacked around the house, ate chocolates, and started to blog. :D i had a wonderful( but very fattening) dinner. KFC's variety meal thing. D:

Hmm, that's about it I guess. I had a really fun and enjoyable time receiving and opening the presents, and I thank God for bringing me through another great year, guiding me through this narrow and treacherous path that all the belivers of Christ chose.

It may be a tough, and you may think that the wide and totally fun filled path would be better, but it is the road to sin. At the end of that narrow pathway, we'll be rewarded. :D

I would aso like to thank God for providing me with such wonderful friends, encouraging and supporting me. :D You guys rock out loud yo. :D Just to name a few: Kenna, Xue Zen( aka small Suzanne, Xue Bass), Hui Qi, Ming Hui, Jacob, Leonard Chng, May Lin, Abby, Adrian, Edwin, Ice-kun, Shannen, Tiffany...

OF COURSE THERE ARE MORE! :D

Well, that's all folks! Gotta revise for my PoA CA on my birthday.

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OH! Here are my important dates(CAs, etc.):

~JULY~

28th: Humanities Quiz

29th: English and PoA

30th: Social Studies

31st: Biology

~AUGUST~

5th: Math

Labels: just another update

I finally went for CG :D
CG stands for Cell Group, but the leaders somehow renamed it, and now it's known as Care Group, where we care for each and everyone! Though it's still commonly known as Cell Group. ^^'

We kick start off CG with a mindsweeper game, followed by a laughing contest. The laughing contest was fun, though hui Qi and I couldn't resist laughing after hearing the others laughing. I was practically staring right through her, so if she were to try to do something funny to make me burst into laughter, she would fail miserably. HAHAH. XD

As for the mindsweeper game, it was something like normal mindsweeper. A pillow marked the starting point, and another pillow marked the end of our destination. The leaders had to read out two directions after each set steps. Kenna, being Kenna, was just super adorable. :D When we chose the wrong direction, she went, "BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!". Just too adorable. XD

If we wanted a hint, the 'chess piece' would have to do two 360 degrees turns, which wasn't that hard. :D

Well, for the first game, there wasn't any particular reason to why they chose it, not that I can remember. As for the laughing contest, there was a reason, but I forgot what it was. Darn it, stm(SHORT TERM MEMORY)!

Then came the sharing. I could only remember the prayer requests, and how would we want CG to be. We all wanted a place where we could really take off any existing masks that we plaster on when we attend school. We're constantly being judged by our friends, and first impressions means a lot. We put on masks to help us to fit in or blend in better, no matter how fake it was.

We just wanted to come for this CG, relax and share with our brothers and sisters. About our life, our problems. What ever we shared, all those personal stuff, would be kept within the four walls. However, if we really want to tell someone about it, it would be for a good reason, like praying for that particular person. I mean, it wouldn't be nice to the other person if you just told another person that he/she has blah blah, and they start spreading it around, gossiping and all.

Those cold stares, people watching your every movement, giggling, laughing, snickering, pointing, mean jokes...
It's a horrible feeling. I've been through it, I know.

It was also a place for us to break down the walls of insecurity that was built over time, to open up slowly. Revealing more about ourselves everynow and then. Especially myself. I remembered when I just came in( I was only primary 6 ), I felt lonely, left out, an out cast.

During the CGs last year, it was very awkard for me to share so much about myself to people who I hardly knew anything. I only knew their name and age, and some other random stuff. Not only that, there was a like, format to it. Random, Sharing, talking about last weeks sermon and prayer requests with a prayer said by someone in our group to end off everything.

I'm not saying that last years CG thing wasn't GREAT, although it could have been better. The random games were fun. Especially when Jacob was around, since he was our CG leader. He would always bring us to the nearby rooftop garden( Which by the way, brings back many camp memories ), and we would do our sharing there. He and his lame jokes. XD

Then he went for NS, and Cindy or Lawrence took over.

Okay, back to what I was saying. ^^'

Then came the prayer requests, which turned out to be another sharing + prayer requests thing. We all shared what we wanted the group to pray about, and the story behind it. we went in a random not so random way, a circle. XD When it was Hui Qi's turn to share, she actually cried. I shall not reveal what was the reason. the story behind it all.

Aftyer her sharing, she nudged me. -.- again, and AGAIN. XD Char was beside me and she was like, heh heh! Nudging~ Then Kenna said that she actually doesn't like nudges, the MSN one. It would irritate her like hell, to the point where she actually closes the conversation. ^^'

Well, yeah. It was my turn to share. I told them to pray for me to keep my temper under control. May Lin was like, you have a temper? XD Yeah, I do. Everyone does. XD

SINCE I'M FEELING OH SO CLAM, I shall share. :D
For the past few months I have been throwing my temper around, being angry with my mom. Over simple little things in which she couldn't get it. Over her usual nagging which I can finally say I'm used to it, and just practically anything. I mean, she just can't seem to get what I'm trying to say, then if i get pissed off trying to explain to her in a nicely, she gets pissed and says, " I dont' get it, I don't care".

She would then stomp up stairs, threatening to throw me down the stairs, kick me out of the house or whack me with a cane. Calling me names like stupid and blind. If you were on the receiving end, wouldn't you flare up? Talk back? Then while I was sharing, I remembered that the cause of this was infact, ME.

Of I hadn't done anything wrong, none of these would have happened. So I prayed and yeah. It seems to work :D

Next was a prayer on me to continue to be motivated to study. for the past erm, few months, sometime after june, I started procrastinating. I just felt that what I was doing wouldn't need that much time, and I just didn't felt like doing it. Only when it was near the deadline did I started working on it. Although I wasn't giving it my all, which kind of sucks, cause i dislike handing up work not up to my standards.

I was wondering why was I even bothering. Then it came to how my mom kept comapring me with my siblings. Mostly my sister. She kept asking why wasn't I like my sister, where she would lock herself in the room the moment she reaches home to revise and all, without being told to do so.

How smart she was, her time management skills, etc. It was just getting so annoying that I decided to prove to my mother that I'm just as good as her. I worked hard, and forgot to take car of myslef, ended up getting a scolding. I continued to work hard, but my mom was never impressed. When I got As for four out of seven subjects, she asked, why couldn't you get 5 As?

When I did well for some test, she would just shrug it off most of the times. She was the one who kept tearing down my motivation. Not even a single encouragement at all. Just, "Why couldn't you be more like your sister?(academically of course)" I felt this constant pressure on me to score well, despite me being super stressed out, sick and tired, I still had to work hard.

Then she would blame me for not taking care of myself, constantly having late nights, not drinking enough water and all.

It was all for two reasons and two reasons alone. The first was to make my mother proud, to prove to her that I can do it. Secondly was for my future. I plan to go to some JC with an optometris(sp) course, as I find that it is very interesting to work with sight :D


OH YAH! then there was one where we shared if it was hard to talk to people face to face.
I found it rather easy to talk to people face to face. The only problem was, I can't seem to find an interesting topic to talk about, so All my topics are really random. It was just a grab and throw into the coversation kind of thing. XD

If I get to know you better, I would start to open up, and the image of me being quiet would be gone. ^^'

Hmm, yeah. Then we went for dinner, as I didn't want to eat alone at home. That's about it. :) gotta sleep. Celebrating my birthday tomorrow with my family. :D

Although my birthday is on the 29th, I can bet with you that part of my family wouldn't be free on tuesday. So, yeah. :D Gonna be 15 in about three days. XD ( Lao le, lao le... >,< ) Cheers! Hmm, theme colours: shades of blue, pink/red, shades of purple. :D

Labels: just another update

START
By Depapepe :D

That song totally rocks :D I ended up smiling idiotically after listening to it for some time :) The chorus is the most recognisable of all, as it was played a number of times in this 6:21 song :D It never fails to put a smile on my face each time I listen to it. It's a really great song!

I first heard it on AJC/CJC guitar night, with CHIJ TP as the guest players :) Well, although Tiffany, Shannen and I managed to come in only after the intermission, I was glad that we didn't miss this song. The next day, I was desperately searching for this song, but i forgot all about once lessons started.

The following day, Cheryl came over with her hp, and it was playing START :D And now MY hp has it :D

Yes yes, that song is hard to play. Its still one of the awesomest guitar songs I've ever heard! Rocking!

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"On that day, you'll be receiving your results in the hall with everyone. Once you get your results, if you did not do well, you wouldn't know how to react. And when your firends come ans ask how you fare, you would really be ashamed to tell them your results and just ferel like hiding in a hole. Wouldn't you want that to happen to you?"

I got this from ming's blog. I think that this doesn't only apply to prelims or O levels, but every other exam. Exams will be exams, and we'll never know what will happen on the day we get our results. We may just break down and cry, thinking of commiting suicide, laugh, smile, party with your friends without a care in the world, shed tears of joy...Anything.

Anything could happen, and its up to us with God's help to make our future a better one. So, buck up and work hard! :) God will provide a way for each and everyone of us. The road may be narrow and trecherous, but once we reach our destination, it will be worth it.

Labels: start

Today was GREAT! :D I had a interesting, not so interesting Chem lesson, completing the set of notes Mrs Choo gave the class. Val and I were like, "WHAT!?! THERE'S MORE??" We ran out of space on our foolscap paper, so we were damn annoyed.

So we decided to redo the notes. Then there was PE, where we practiced some stuff related to rugby, did stretches and some warm up stuff. ^^' Next was recess. Yes, the wonderful recess! The sad thing was, that the people who were selling the ji bears weren't there. D: So i brought my $25 to school for nothing. D: Oh, and not only that, I forgot to bring extra money for recess, so I was about to live my whole day on four apples.

Since the people selling the bears weren't here, I decided to use part of the $25 that I brought. Bleah, now i have to search for a nicer soft toy for shannen. I was starving toward the end of the day despite me having eaten rice, meat and veg for recess and the same thing for lunch. Then next was Emath, my fav :D We're currently learning congruency and similarity. YESH,I KNOW THIS IS A SEC TWO TOPIC.

I'm in NA stream, happy now? XD Hmm, went through a few questions, and slacked through chinese. Okay fine, I wasn't slacking throughout the whole lesson. I had to finish the task that was given to us before i could slack. Though i ran out of time. OHYA! :D Did i ever tell you that ALL except one of the relief teachers for Chinese suck? I mean, like pfft. One of them walked out of the class right after saying, " You girls have no respect."

The other teachers just walked off. heh, noob. XD I guess that they didn't know that they would have to loosen up a little, instead of going by the book all the time. Seriously, if you can find a PREFECT class for me, as in attitude and studies, then kudos to you. It's hard to find one nowadays. (In my opinion.)

Three Five '08 = ROCKING AWESOME-NESS YO! :D

heh heh, then it was PoA and off to lunch. >.> then I had an AA meeting to attend to, regarding some er, stuff. XD Head back home, and started to do my homework :D

Praise the LORD! I'm back to my normal self again.
bleah. It was blatantly obvious that my class's vice chair was trying to not attend school.
Yeap. I finished the all the homework including that English vocab assesment book thing. I did like, one chapter or so. :) It was tough, but I ;earned a hell lot of words. :) That particular chapter was just long, with many words that I heard of, and even used, but i never really knew the exact meaning of. ^^' heh.

Oh, and you know what? I can't upload the pics on DA. It's like, so annoying. D: Something is wrong dude. DDD: they should have tested it more for bugs. *sobs* I'm getting irritated yo. Let me submit my pics or you'll just crash and burnt. muahahahaaaa~ XD
Just kidding. :D

pfft. well, at least they improved on some stuff. No more stinkin' ckeckboxes! The layout is nice, heck everything is awesome. Everything but the submission thing. D:

That's about it for today~

CHEERS! :D




I shall never visit your blog ever again. Jealousy is taking over. Consuming me. Invading my every living cell. I'm afraid.

Labels: just another update

Well for all those TPCMC YMers out there, you guys remember the clubhouse closing video? That song that was playin in the background? It has been stuck in my head ever since 3 days ago. D:

Yeah, I really miss clubhouse a lot. All those wonderful memories, all Its left is a pile of bricks and stones. Not only that, since my computers hard disc was corrupted, the clubhouse photos were gone. Along with the rest of the photos. D:

By the way, you did a great job with the video DOREEN! :D Not to mention the blog too! ( Psst! I know what you want to know about the blog. MUAHAHAHAaa~ )

Anyhoo, today was a 100% slack day. I shall continue later cause I seriously need to revive my Deviantart account. it has been dead since the end of the June holidays.

Okay, back. :D

My Da account is still not 100% revived. I just need to upload my photos. :) Check it out, yeah?
http://twilight-reflection.deviantart.com/
Well, I have not upload the Hortpark pics yet, so please be patient. :D the photos are in my thumbdrive, but blogger takes a long time to uplaods photos. SUPPORT DA! :D

Oh, and erm, do pray for me. My mom and I, we are not on good terms right now, and its all my fault. seriously. I'm little miss trouble at home. ): I decided to turn over a new leaf, and really think before I speak. Keep my cool, be more understandable and others-centered. :)

I did a few pages of the English assesment book! :D Finally, it has been sitting under the table, collecting dust for about a month. ^^' I learned quite a number of new words too :) haha, anyway, I really got to go now. I made a promise to myself that I'll stop making others worry about me. I shall sleep early from today onwards! :D

PRAYER IS POWERFUL. BELIEVE IT.

Labels: just another update

THIS IS A 100% RANT. VENTING MY ANGER NOW. DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT DO ANYTHING TO ME NOW.

ARGH. THIS IS SO ANNOYING. I JUST WAS TO HAVE SOME TIME DOING MY OWN STUFF ON THE COMPUTER, BUT NO. YOU JUST HAD TO BARGE IN. I KNOW YOU'RE DOING THIS CAUSE YOU ARE WORRIED, BUT PLEASE. I'M ALREADY FIFTEEN. wait, that's not much of a good excuse, but WHATEVER MAN. ARGH, I MEAN, PRIVACY MUCH?!?

BANG ALL YOU WANT, DAMN YOU. BANG ME TO DEATH IF YOU DARE. THROW ME DOWN THE STAIRS IF YOU DARE. THROW ME OUT OF THE HOUSE IF YOU DARE. YOU ARE JUST SO ANNOYING. YOU JUST CAME, NO, BARGE IN JUST 5 SECONDS AGO AND YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN. YOUR EXCUSE? "I WANTED TO CHECK WHO WAS IN HERE." HAH, AS IF I WOULD BELIEVE THAT. YOU ARE JUST TOO OVER PROTECTIVE. DAMN IT. I JUST FEEL LIKE SHOUTING ALL THESE INTO YOUR FREAKING ANNOYING FACE, BUT I CAN'T, FOR YOU SEE, I HAVE NO AUTHORITY TO DO SO.

LET ME LIVE MY LIFE. GO STEAL SOME OTHER PERSON'S LIFE YOU BITCH.

Now, what did I tell you? This was a 100% rant. If I were to vent my anger any in any other way, I would just end up messing up, or breaking things in the house. DAMN IT.

THIS POST IS JUST SO WRONG. RAH.

Labels: TOTAL RANT.

Whee!!
Today was quite alright. :D

Before I go any further, I would like to express my thanks to TIFFANY AND GYWNETH! :D They were the two people who kind of 'stood up' for me when Stephanie said something about the icon/symbol. Thank you both of you :D

Okay, as I was saying..
Today started off with Social Studies. I would usually fall asleep during SS no matter what I tried. Although, today was one of the most Interesting SS lessons I have had so far, other than the one on Healthcare and some others. Looks like taking notes not only helps me to learn, it also keeps me awake( Thanks Shannen! XD ).

The only thing is, I kinda have problems mixing and matching the colours that I used. Val Wong has PERFECT colour matching skills, and she loves the colour PINK. Well, my notes were pretty messy anyway, so I redid them not too long ago. Only to find out that my favourite black-blue(or is it the other way around?) pen ran out of ink, just like Shannen's. XDD -She found a very 'interesting' way to use it even though it was out of ink...-

Anyhoo, Chemistry couldn't be any more dissappointing. I was all hyped up on learning Mole Concept/calculation this year, only to find out that its only going to be taught next year. It may be a looooong and challenging chapter, but in my point of view, I think we're ready for it this year. We just have to remember some formulas, its not that bad, RIGHT?

Well, next was recess! Recess was pushed forward by one period(9.35am). For the first time, I felt super hungry. D: Yes, its only 9.35, but I'm hungry. I ate with Charlotte and gang :D They are AWESOME PEOPLE. HECK, ALL THREE FIVE-IANS ARE AWESOME PEOPLE YO! And you know it. XD

Yeap. then came the dreaded English lesson. Its not that I dislike the English lesson, but I dislike the teacher. She spoke in a soft( kind of..) voice that she was barely audible. Not only that, she sound like one of the characters in Monsters inc. You know, the one who keeps asking for paperwork? Plus, she needs botox. Her face is saggy. She doesn't even teach us ANYTHING.

Next was Emath, where I was eagerly waiting for Mr Lim to return the CA papers, only to find out that I hadn't done as well as I thought I would have. 25/30, 2 questions, a total of 5 marks, both careless mistakes. I got one of them wrong because my calculator was in the wrong mode, and the second one was because I ASSUMED that both sides of the triangle was the same.

Not only that, both questions were on the cosine rule. Dang it, those damn modes. Well, still I was 4th( CRAP, I JUST NOTICED THAT I'M NOT IN THE TOP 3 )position. NOW THAT JUST SUCKS, OUT LOUD. D:

Okay okay, on a happier note, the next lesson was English, and we were going through corrections. Which means, I get to doodle for a while. :D I'm currently working on a piece, tittled BFFs: Tiffany and Shannen. :D

Haha, well, it's not exactly a actual piece, its just a very awesome drawing. :D It's so going on DA. :DD Then erm, OH! IJ POLLING DAY!! ^^'

I was nominated to be a student councillor. ^^' heh, well...
:)
:D
^^'
=
-.-
=.=
=3=
D:
DDDD:

It's going to be tough if I were to get in. I don't even think I'm suitable to be a councillor.

Labels: just another update

I'M SORRY, THREE FIVE-IANS
FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO COMPLETE THE ICON/SYMBOL THING FOR NE.

iT'S LIKE TWO IN THE MORNING AND I'M NOT EVEN DONE. So i decided to just give up.
I'm truly sorry, really guys , i am. D: If i come late tomorrow, that means i overslept. once again,

I'M SORRY. D:












Oh, and I LOVE OLIVIA :D WILL NEVER FORGET YOU GUYS.:D

Labels: sorry

Thanks to Abby, I'm having fun with my blog now :D

ReWiNd.

I felt like slashing myself again. Yesterday i felt like jumping off my 10 story building. Don't worry. I didn't slash my wrist yet. BUT IF I DID( Gosh, I'm not suppose to start a sentence with 'but'. ), I would do it in my own room. Well, this is bad. D: Today during Bio, I told Michelle to use her pen knife on me. On my wrist. Haha HAHA.

GOSH, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

Labels: unsatisfied

I LOVE ABBY! IT'S TRUE :D
THANK YOU! :D

HEH, not les. I'm straight. haha. :D

:D anyway, thanks for adding COLOURS to my blog :D

Connect! echo here I come! XD
I miss Abby's high-ness...

Labels: happy

I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!
I LOVE ABBY!



Melina's first coloured post yaw! :D


Youth Sunday(13th of july)= AWESOMENESS :D

It was about three days ago(counting today), so the details were a little sketchy.]

Youth Sunday is not a day for the youths, but a day where we show the gifts that God has blessed us with :D

I played the keyboard today with Hui Qi and passed hand signals to Na. :D We listened to the sermon and watched the skit. I happened to watch it thrice. Once in the clubhouse(rehersal), the second during the first service and the third during the second service. XD

The skit was hilarious. XD At one point, Lai Lai(played by Shaun) helped his friends cheat during a test. It's a bad thing, but...it was super funny. I shall translate it for you guys. :D

Gabriel: *kicks Shaun's chair* EH! How to do question 5a?

Shaun: Wait, the teacher is still here...

*waits for the imaginary teacher to walk away*

Gabriel: Hurry, she left!

*Shaun lifts up his pants(left) up to his knees*

Gabriel: Higher!

*Shaun lifts his leg up higher*

Gabriel: Not your LEG, your pants!

*Shaun lifts pants higher with much difficulty*

Gabriel: Higher! I can't see question 5b!

*Shaun lifts his pants higher*

Gabriel: Okay, okay, done!

*Shaun rolls his pants down*

*Clement kicks Shaun's chair*

Clement: Aye! Dont' be so selfish leh! How to do question 13?
(haha, that was a super random number) XD)

*Shaun rolls up his right sleeve to somewhere above his elbow and flexes his arm*

Clement: Bigger!

*Shaun flexes even more*
*Gabriel looks at the answer*
*I O.O at his muscles. (dudes out there, he is buff. He is in dragon boating! XD)*

Clement: BIGGER!!

*Shaun flexes more*

Shaun: Big enough?!

Clement: okay okay..!

YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE IT, TO BELIEVE IT, and laugh at it too~. XD
We sang the song twice, and it went rather well, since I didn't really memorised it. XD

Then we sat down on the steps twice, and I had difficulty sitting, as my dress was kinda short. >,< xue wei wore fbts underneath her dress. Good for her.

After the skit during the first service, I had to rush off to do some pub stuff. Set up the booths asap, and went to prepare for worship.

I screwed up the response song and qi lai rong yao(first song). >,<

The it was lunch. After that, Su and I went up and jammed for a while. XD She on the bass, I on the piano. ^^'

One day, all the sec threes shall jam together.
Su on the bass, Hui Qi on the keyboard, Xue Wei on the piano, Alicia on the guitar, Na on the drums and I with the mic(dang, that sucks) ^^'

After that, my dad fetched me and the rest was a blur. XD stm= short term memory. HAHA.

Well, I gotta get started on the SS project yo!

CHEERS!
HAVE A GREAT DAY AHEAD! XD

Labels: Youth Sunday

Melina is looking back to the times when she was in secondary one, when she, Shannen and Shanthini were best friends. They did practically almost everything together. Melina thought that her friendship with both Shannen and Shanthini would never end.
They would never fail to put a smile on her face and being with them was what brought her joy in school.

It was until all three of them were in their third year in IJ, when Melina noticed that they didn't neeed her anymore. 'She is just too good' they thought. They had went their own ways, although Shannen is still with her, they seldom spoke.

Although Melina doesn't mind, it was getting kind of lonely in the class...

Labels: ...

'ROCKING!' quote from jazie :D

yeah. If you asked me to describe SUNBURNT!( an outreach event organised by YMers of TPCMC ) with one word, that would totally be the one. :D

On the way home I was complaining about how I didn't get burnt during SUNBURNT! -.- I got homw and was suprised that I actually did get burnt! Well, the thing is that I just turned a little red. That's all. The awful thing was...

1) I got that hideous curve cut shorts tan
(dont' worry, I still love those air force shorts)
2) I left my towel at sentosa
3) I couldn't take my usual 5mp shot as that phone was sent for repair

although, the awesome thing was...

1) I met many fun and cool people
( just to name one...VIVIAN! FROM CHRIST CHURCH SEC, NEW CREATION CHURCH) :D
2) I got SUNBURNT!!!
3) I almost evened out my tan
4) I managed to take nice shots of the setting of the sun with my uber lousy 2 mp
phone camera.
Although I do agree with Jacob that you can take nice shots no
matter what camera you're using. :D It's just HOW you take it. :DD

The day started off with ym dad coming into the room telling me that it's already 8, although i shut him off by saying that i had set an alarm for 8.30. The next thing i knew, I woke up at 9.30. I had to rush everything as Su, Hui Qi and I agreed to meet for breakfast, before meeting the others at Harbour Front mrt station.

Hui Qi and i shared hor fun, which tasted really good. I was kinda unhappy that nut didn't fill my stomach, but that wasn't much of a problem. XD Then we went to the control station to meet the rest. We would always say that it's the YM policy to be half an hour late.

Well, This time, We saw Xue Wei already there, leaning against the wall listening to some french thing. -.- Then came the rest who started swarming around us, and a mini introduce yourself thing started. :)

We headed off to buy out tickets. Thankfully i brought a book to read, although i was quickly distracted by the wonderful balloons that some lady was sculpting. She made this really adprable looking bee!! Then Xue Wei joked about us being there, staring with the i-want-to-buy kind of look and then walking away, with the auntie thinking wa lao, I though you wanted to buy some! sort of thing. XD

She then tugged me saying that we should go see the people bungee jumping and 'rock climbing' while pointing towards the glass door. It was fun!! OH I ALMOST FORGOT, EMMA(Kenna's cousin) CAME! She is such and adorable girl. i was a little shocked at first, as when i tried to talk to her, she backed away. >,<

She opened up to me later on, and she is such an adorable girl!! :D

Anyways, back to Xue Wei and the bungee jumping stuff. We headed out, and the next thing we kew we were wuu-ing and ahh-ing at the people who attempted the 'rock' wall. Then Emma was like, is that even counted at rocki climbing? cause, the so called 'wall' was actaully an air filled prymid(sp!! -.-) thing. =.='

Hmm, after that, we headed back to check on Law, shaun and the rest of the gang who were getting the tickets, and finally! We got them ! :D kendra borrowed my book out of bordom. :D

We headed off to sentosa, with Doreen taking random pics of us. :)
Once we got there, we set out towards the tampo after taking off our slippers and dumping our bags at the tent thing XD

we played my favourite game: the MRT game, except instead of using the stations, we used out names. The game goes like this: lets say some random person calls my name. The people on my left and right must start hitting my thighs/legs as hard as possible until I shout another person's name. You'll get forfeit only when you fail to hit the person hard enough, or delayed the hitting by around 5 seconds. XD

Su and i decided to aim for my brother(hint hint: MISSION X). Although the people beside him weren't hitting much. It was so funny to see Law and Shaun getting the crap bteaten out of them. XDD

yeap, then next, we had this other game, which is very hard to explain so i shall not explain it. XD The thing is, that the ending people are in the water. Cool man, I got into the water and it was super fun. :) since it was a hot day and all. :DDD

Next was Blind mice. First was to come up with a group sound. (my group was TEAM HIGH!!) So, to match our group name, our sound was "high". :) To confirm if that member is indeed part of our group, we would go "high, high" XD

We once scattered, we had to find back our group members and from a row with the names in alphabetical order. Although our group was the last one, we still had loads of fun. :)

The last game was called, OLEY! (When i say SUNBURNT, you say OLEY! :D) It was some sort of relay. First, we would have to pair up with someone who could piggy back you. I was paired with Xue Wei. :D She was able to carry EMMA, HUI QI AND I. Of course, not all at one go. XD That was when I found out that Xue Wei was damn strong.:D

Firstly, we had to spin five rounds with the wacko stick, then we had to pick up an item( i chose the coin) and get your partner to piggy back you with the item on hand. Next we had to sit in a row, something like the jacob's ladder formation, except it was only one side of the ladder. XD

While waiting for the other pairs to finish(Xue Wei had to make another trip as Team HIGH was short of members) we had to choose a member to dunk :D EMMA volunteered herself and she was very excited about it :DDD

Once all the members are done, we had to pass the items with our legs. The items include: a 1.5 litre bottle of ice mountain water(filled), a 20 cent coin, colgate(sp?)-expected!! XD- a small piece of cloth, a bottle cap, a rubber band and er...one more I think. ^^'

yeap. the colgate was the typical ym thing. We would never fail to pass it with our cheeks on every event XD The sad thing was that, IT TOUCHED MY HAIR!! D:< and it burns...(SUNBURNT! OLEY!)XD

After that, it was dunkin' time, and we 'tossed' EMMA into the water. XDD
Soaked from head to toe on a hot day= FUN!

We dunked quite a number of people too: My bro(muahaha, part of mission X), Shaun, Suzanne( I tried to save her, but I fell into the water. ^^'), Law( We pushed him into the water just in time before he regained his balance), Emma, Myself( haha, I fell into the water. does that count? XD), Wei Xiang(I think) David and more! :DDD

Next was free and easy time. We ate food!! It was awesome, although I feel guilty when i reached out for the chocolate cake. The egg and bread was delicious as ever, and the muffin rocks my world! XD then we played ball games. Since i have no idea( seriosuly I really have no idea) how to play caps ball, I Played Volley Ball with Hui ting and Cherry(haha, no idea how to spell her name. It's pronounced as Sher-ri though. XDDD). Until now, my left arm muscle still hurts like hell. >,< But i had FUN! :DD

Then Su, Ming, Ling and I decided to play chicken. First we had to pair up, then we had to sit on the shoulder and fight with the other pair. I was always on top( I'm easy to carry! XD) but I had different carriers :D

the most stable one was Su and I :DD Ming and Ling had a hard time trying. Ming kept falling off into the water when she was sitting on her shoulder. ^^' Anyhoo, you guys should have been there watching us play chicken! XD

It was really fun. :D Can't wait for the next time when we can play chicken again. XD
The winner was unknown, as nobody kept count and the pairs kept chainging. XD

And yeah. Took some shots with my uber lousy 2mp phone. Erm, and yeah. Rinsed off and left my towel at the cubical(Dang, my mom still has no idea. Let's just keep it that way okay?). Plus, my mom bought it at Disney Land, when I was still a kid. D:

SO, EVERYONE!! THIS IS A HUSH HUSH MATTER, OKAY? :)

Chatted with Cobbie and Do :D

then we ate at subway, and that was when I met vivian. XD She is this super high girl from CCS(Christ Church secondary), and goes to New Creation church. :D A year older than me :D Ming, Ling, Vivian and I zi highed the whole night! XD

We(the girls and three guys) went to Toys R Us after Dinner, while the rest( the guys and two girls) went to some cool music shop. From what I've read(Xue Wei's blog) and heard from Cobbie, the stuff in there was AWESOME! :D

Well, we were extremely noisy. XD I felt bad, disturbing the public and all. Took some spastic photos( man, I gotta work on my zi pai shots. Meaning, taking a photo by myself, with me in the picture), browsed around and went "KAWAII!" unpon seeing the uber adorable stuff. :D

Then we headed to the rooftop(we were in vivo. ^^') and took more shots and zi highed even more. we walked in the water. XD The deepest was ankle high, or slightly higher. That was as far Ming, Ling Vivian and I went. :D

Vivian sang some french and malay song XD And we played Who's the tempo king. XD Then we zi highed while waiting for the guys to come. :D

When they came, we we bored. HAHA. Then Ming, Ling, Vivian, Xue wei and I went to walk in the water, :D and ended up zi highing again. XDD Xue wei then did a perfect split on the ground and I attempted, but failed. I was real close though >,<

She said it was suppose to hurt, haha, when i'm trying, that is. XD After that, we left around 10pm. Ling, Ming Vivian and I were Zi Highing in the train, and we were very very, and I really mean, VERY noisy. ^^' It was to the point that some guy 'Ahem'ed us. XD

Well, Ming and I stopped at TP station,a dn she headed home while I head towards the bus stop opposite my church. then, my dad picked me up :D

I was resting on my bed, after showering and dinner of course, and the next thing i knew, i fell asleep and woke up at 3.19 am sharp. >,< It's always like that. >,<
F-R-E-A-K-Y!

Wet to the toilet, brushed my teeth, combed my hair a couple of times and went to bed. haha. XD

Labels: SUNBURNT

For the past one week or so, I've been spiritually low. I totally got cut off from God. I kept finding LAME excuses to not do my QT. Then one fine day, I forgot to say grace. I mean, it's not my first time not saying it, but at that point of time, saying grace was all i had time to do.

Well, maybe saying grace might not be such a big thing and all to some people out there, but you know what? It is to me. I gradually forgot to say a prayer before i went to bed each night.

I just a few days ago, i noticed that there was this emptiness in me. Whatever I did all I could to try getting rid or filling up that emptiness, but to no avail. So, I broke down, and started to cry. Praying like I've never prayed before.

for the every first time, I had this God shaped hole that was empty. Empty to the point where I felt lost. As in, it wasn't really lost in the sense that i-lost-my-way kind of lost, but ...you know what I mean. -.-

Whatever I did, it was all wrong. My life was LITERALLY FALLING APART. Homework, projects all not done. Just sitting there like a couch potato, trying to fill that emptiness with that 40+ inch black stupid box known as a television.

It was so wrong. I couldn't take it anymore. Thoughts of suicidal came into my head everyday. I'm not kidding.

I prayed.

I gradually picked up my QT, and started saying grace once again. Even my go-to-bed prayers came back :)

It was really scary to not have God in my life. Then it brought me back to what Jacob said. IT IS NOT ABOUT HOW YOU CAN LIVE WITH GOD IN YOUR LIFE, BUT HOW YOU CANNOT LIVE WITH GOD IN YOUR LIFE. When he said this, I took it as it is. Not really thinking about it and just left it at there. Now I know what it really means, and I'm very glad that God is in my life.

Day to day i have christian songs playing in my head. Whether I'm terrified, happy, excited, anxious, or angry, a song always does the trick.

I would just like to say this to all of you who believe that Jesus Christ is your saviour. IT IS NOT HOW YOU CAN LIVE WITH GOD IN YOUR LIVE, BUT HOW YOU CANNOT LIVE WITH GOD IN YOUR LIFE. Trust me, you have no idea how terrible it was to not have Him in your life.

Labels: update

i feel funny. everything's wrong. my life, my relationships............
i read blogs. lots of them, and they usually fall under the names of tiffany and shannen. -.- BFFs forever man, those two. XD

bah. i hate myself


hey hey! PRESENTING DA BABES!! XD

they even have their own link! XDD ohgay, you caught me. :D this is da link to the fabulous may lin's livejournal!!! aka lin may. XD

http://omaybeth.livejournal.com/4445.html

heh heh. sorrae may lin! the pictures look so horrible. as in, the quality. lighting, contrast, colour and all. >,< pretty gals...stay pretty forever! :D

One day your looks will fade away, and only inner beauty is left.

Labels: hyperness, random

today was a rather good day. although it started with rain, but it was still a good day! :D

i had a great time with the students from india/vietnam. she was so nice, and really good in math too! :D

charlotte, goldfish and tiffany: melina! looks like you're not the smartest girl in class anymore!

me: but they are gonna be here for only 9 days! * tries to think positively *

yeah. they are really good in math. we're currently doing some Amath topic now, so it would take sometime for me to get used to it. >,< it's called 'radian' i think...
math was tough today. yeah, tough. TOUGH i tell you. though some questions were alright.

oh, back to the vietnam/indian girls. they came here on some twinning program, 29 students and two principals from one school and nine students their principal from another school. they are such awesome people. :D

i was sitting beside this girl, named Shunti. she was suppose to sit with cleris, but since she wanted to be near her friends(which were right nehind val wong and i), she chose to sat next to/inbetween val wong and i. :) poor cleris. D:

hmm, then we had another period of english(there was one after recess, then there was one lesson of cl and two lessons of Emaths, and then ONE MORE PERIOD OF ENGLISH). bah. i just don't like the teacher. anyhoo, i would like to thank PETRINA for her absence in class today. if not we wouldn't have gotten another day to work on it. :D thank yous!!

yeap. i'm editiing the pp now. D: i added a 'just for laughters' slide, since it's like, the second last period of the day, and we're all feeling soooo tired and warm, but mostly tired. XD

yeah. lets see if you get it. :)




oh yeah. the sad thing about the pp is that, i can't print the script, so its like, handwritten. D: dang it. i like that printer. :/

anyhoo, off to work now. :)

CHEERS YALL! :D

Labels: update

i found this at adrian's blog :) heh heh. i think some of you guys got it as an email, or even in the form of a powerpoint presentation(it has nice pictures! XD).
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

science and God

'Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus Christ.' The atheist
professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his
new students to stand.

'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir,' the student says.

'So you believe in God?'

'Absolutely.'

'Is God good?'

'Sure! God's good.'

'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'

'Yes.'

'Are you good or evil?'

'The Bible says I'm evil.'

The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a
moment.

'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you
can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'

'Yes sir, I would.'

'So you're good...!'

'I wouldn't say that.'

'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if
you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He
doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even
though he prayed to Jesus to heal him How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can
you answer that one?'

The student remains silent.

'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of
water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

'Let's start again, young fella Is God good?'

'Er...yes,' the student says.

'Is Satan good?'

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'

'Then where does Satan come from?'

The student : 'From...God...'

'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there
evil in this world?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything,
correct?'

'Yes.'

'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created
everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to
the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'

Without allowing the student to answer, the professor continues:
'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible
things, do they exist in this world?'

The student: 'Yes.'

'So who created them?'

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his
question. 'Who created them? There is still no answer. Suddenly the
lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is
mesmerized.

'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in
Jesus Christ, son?'

The student's voice is confident: 'Yes, professor, I do.'

The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you
use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen
Jesus?'

'No sir. I've never seen Him'

'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'

'No, sir, I have not..'

'Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or
smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus
Christ, or God for that matter?'

'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'

'Yet you still believe in him?'

'Yes.'

'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable
protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that,
son?'

'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'

'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem
science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a
question of his own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'

'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'

'And is there such a thing as cold?'

'Yes, son, there's cold too.'

'No sir, there isn't.'

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested.
The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain.

'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat,
mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we
don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below
zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is
no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the
lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when
it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have
or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat.
You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of
heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units
because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the
absence of it.'

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom,
sounding like a hammer.

'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as
darkness?'

'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night
if it isn't darkness?'

'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the
absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright
light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have
Nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to
define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able
to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him.
This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'

'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is
flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time.
'Flawed? Can you explain how?'

'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student
explains. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good
God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something
finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a
thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much
less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life
is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive
thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'

'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they
evolved from a monkey?'

'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young
man, yes, of course I do'

'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he
realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work
and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you
not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a
preacher?'

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the
Commotion has subsided.

'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other
student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'

The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class
who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into
laughter.

'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain,
felt the professor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain? No
one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of
empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no
brain, with all due respect, sir. So if science says you have no brain,
how can we trust your lectures, sir?'

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the
student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I
guess you'll have to take them on faith.'

'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists
with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as
evil?'

Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We
see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man.
It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world.
These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'

To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at
least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God.
It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe
the absence of God.

God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when
man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold
that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there
is no light.'

The professor sat down….

Labels: God

THIS IS FOR CLERIS REGARDING THE ENGLISH PP. ALL THE BEST! :D

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PowerPoint:

Domestic Violence isn't just hitting, or fighting, or an occasional mean argument. It's a chronic abuse of power. The abuser tortures and controls the victim by calculated threats, intimidation, and physical violence. Actual physical violence is often the end result of months or years of intimidation and control.

Is Domestic violence is violence between adult intimate partners?
The term "intimate partners" in some cases refers only to people who are cohabitating or have cohabited (lived together) whereas at other times "intimate partners" refers to people who are dating or who have dated at some time in the past.

The following are widely recognized as forms of emotional abuse.

Rejecting - refusing to acknowledge a person's presence, value or worth; communicating to a person that she or he is useless or inferior; devaluing her/his thoughts and feelings.

Degrading - insulting, ridiculing, name calling, imitating and infantilizing

Terrorizing - inducing terror or extreme fear in a person

Isolating - physical confinement; restricting normal contact with others

Corrupting/Exploiting - using a person for advantage or profit; training a child to serve the interests of the abuser and not of the child.

Denying Emotional Responsiveness - failing to provide care in a sensitive and responsive manner; being detached and uninvolved; interacting only when necessary; ignoring a person's mental health needs.

What is physical abuse?
• slapping
• kicking
• shoving
• choking
• pinching
• forced feeding
• pulling hair
• punching
• throwing things
• burning
• beating
• use of weapons (gun, knives, or any object)
• Physical restraint - pinning against wall, floor, bed, etc.
• reckless driving

The abuse can start with something small—a shove during an argument, or forcefully grabbing your wrist—and usually becomes more severe and more frequent over time. Physical abuse can—and too often does—result in death.

Physical assault or battering is a crime, whether it occurs inside or outside of the family.

What is Sexual Abuse?
Sexual abuse is when an intimate partner has...
• minimized the importance of your feelings about sex
• criticized you sexually
• insisted on unwanted or uncomfortable touching
• withheld sex and affection
• forced sex after physical abuse or when you were sick
• raped you
• been jealously angry, assuming you would have sex with anyone
• insisted that you dress in a more sexual way than you wanted

• Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence:






• Abuse: the abuser lashes out with aggressive or violent behavior

• Guilt: after the abusive episode, the abuser feels guilt, but not over what he's done to the victim.

• Rationalization or excuses: The abuser rationalizes what he's done.

• "Normal" behavior: the abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship.

• Fantasy and planning: The abuser begins to fantasize about abusing his victim again, spending a lot of time thinking about what she's done wrong and how he'll make her pay.

• Set-up: the abuser sets up the victim and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing her.

It is hard to stop because it is hard to report
Women
Fear retaliation against themselves and their children by the abuser

Fear the economic upheaval that may follow the report

Women’s self-esteem is so low as a result of spouse abuse that they are unable to see themselves as worthy of seeking help, or they rationalize the abuse.

Will try to solve the problem by talking it out with the abuser, by fighting back, or by trying to change their behavior to meet the demands of the abuser

When they fail to stop the abuse, women may become passive, which may reduce the immediate danger, or may go into a state of emotional withdrawal

When women do discuss domestic violence with an authority, they are most likely to do so with their physician. The physician identifies abuse as a problem in only one abuse victim in twenty who presents for care.

For children, the fear is more than fear of injury or death. Children fear the destruction of their family - their world. Middle-school aged children have an awareness of things such as poverty, foster homes, and homelessness, and may be unable to cope with the uncertainty that reporting abuse may cause.

> Effects of Domestic Violence
Long-term effects of domestic violence on women who have been abused may include:
• anxiety
• chronic depression
• chronic pain
• death
• dehydration
• dissociative states
• drug and alcohol dependence
• eating disorders
• emotional "over-reactions" to stimuli
• general emotional numbing
• health problems
• malnutrition
• panic attacks
• poor adherence to medical recommendations
• poverty
• repeated self-injury
• self neglect
• sexual dysfunction
• sleep disorders
• somatization disorders
• strained family relationships
• suicide attempts

Domestic violence can severely impair a parent's ability to nurture the development of their children. Mothers who are abused may be depressed or preoccupied with the violence. They may be emotionally withdrawn or numb, irritable or have feelings of hopelessness.

when children cannot depend on their parents or caregivers - for emotional support and for practical support - their development can be seriously delayed or, in severe cases, permanently distorted. Children without an emotionally available parent may withdraw from relationships and social activities.

Estimates are that more than 3.3 million children are exposed to physical and verbal spousal abuse each year. 14 Exposure means seeing or hearing the actual abuse or dealing with the aftermath of the abuse.

When describing the effects of domestic violence on children, it is important to note that domestic violence and child abuse are often present in the same families.

Many children in families where domestic violence has occurred appeared to be "parentified." They are forced to grow up faster than their peers, often taking on the responsibility of cooking, cleaning and caring for younger children.

Children may also be isolated. Children underlying all these "symptoms" of domestic violence are children's emotional responses: i.e. anger - misery - intense terror - fear of dying - fear of the loss of a parent. Children may feel rage, guilt, or a sense of responsibility for the violence,

INFANTS AND TODDLERS:

Infants and toddlers who witness violence show excessive irritability, immature behavior, sleep disturbances, emotional distress, fears of being alone, and regression in toileting and language. Preschool children may develop enuresis and speech disfluencies, such as stuttering. "Exposure to trauma, especially family violence, interferes with a child's normal development of trust and later exploratory behaviors, which lead to the development of autonomy."

The organizations below provide emergency services, shelter, and counseling services for people in Illinois. If you want to do something about domestic violence, contact one of these organizations or a similar organization in your area, and donate time and money.

Help is Available! Resource Directory

Illinois Domestic Violence Resources:

American Red Cross-Greater Chicago
Chicago Abused Women's Coalition
Constance Morris House
Crisis Center for South Suburbia
Crisis Line of Will County
Evanston Shelter for Battered Women
Family Rescue, Inc.
Family Shelter Service
A Friend's Place
Home of the Sparrow
House Of The Good Shepherd
Korean American Women In Need
Life Span
Metropolitan Family Services
Neopolitan Lighthouse
A Safe Place
Sarah's Inn
South Suburban Family Shelter, Inc.
Southwest Women Working Together

Script:

The term "intimate partners" in some cases refers only to people who are cohabitating or have cohabited (lived together) whereas at other times "intimate partners" refers to people who are dating or who have dated at some time in the past.

This could broaden the definition to be violence between any of the following: husbands, wives, ex-husbands, ex-wives, partners, ex-partners, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, children, people who have lived together (which could include cousins, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, and caregivers), and people who are or have dated in the past.

A better definition of domestic violence is emotional abuse, physical abuse, or sexual abuse between people who have at some time had an intimate or family relationship.
The following are widely recognized as forms of emotional abuse.
Rejecting - refusing to acknowledge a person's presence, value or worth
Degrading - behavior which diminishes the identity, dignity and self-worth of the person
Terrorizing - inducing terror or extreme fear in a person
Isolating - limiting freedom within a person's own environment.
Corrupting/Exploiting - using a person for advantage or profit;
Denying Emotional Responsiveness - failing to provide care in a sensitive and responsive manner
• Abuse —the abuse is a power play designed to show the victim "who is boss."
• Guilt —the guilt is over the possibility of being caught and facing consequences.
• Rationalization or excuses —He may come up with a string of excuses or blame the victim for his own abusive behavior—anything to shift responsibility from himself.
• "Normal" behavior —He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.
• Fantasy and planning —the abuser begins to fantasize about abusing his victim again, then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.
• Set-up — the abuser sets up the victim and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing her.

Physical abuse is the use of physical force against someone in a way that injures or endangers that person. There’s a broad range of behaviors that come under the heading of physical abuse, including hitting, grabbing, choking, throwing things, and assault with a weapon.

Sexual abuse, also referred to as molestation, is defined as the forcing of undesired sexual acts by one person to another. Child sexual abuse refers to situations when the victim is younger than the age of consent.
Victims of domestic violence are reluctant to report abuse.
Women’s self-esteem is so low as a result of spouse abuse .Police complain that often when they arrest an abuser, the victims want them to drop the charges.

When they fail to stop the abuse, women may become passive, which may reduce the immediate danger. Abuse may push a woman to see only two options: suicide or homicide. 8

For children, the fear is more than fear of injury or death. Even when adults in the community such as school personnel or neighbors report the abuse, children may outright deny it. Children may experience feelings of shame, guilt, and divided loyalties to parents making it unlikely that they will disclose the violence to others. 9

Only 1% of physicians practicing in health maintenance organizations screened for domestic violence. Obstetrician/gynecologists (17%) and physicians practicing in public clinic settings (37%) were more likely to screen patients. A recent survey of physician attitudes found that "45% of clinicians never or seldom asked about domestic violence when examining injured patients". The result is less than 15% of female patients report being asked about abuse by doctors or telling their doctors about their abuse. 17

The result can be a parent who is less emotionally available to their children or unable to care for their children's basic needs. Battering fathers are less affectionate, less available, and less rational in dealing with their children. Studies even suggest that "battered women may use more punitive child-rearing strategies or exhibit aggression toward their children." 4

Since childhood is the time when social skills and attitudes are learned, domestic violence can affect their ability to form relationships for the rest of their lives.

Parents who have been traumatized by violence must cope with their own trauma before they are able to help their children.

"In homes where domestic violence occurs, children are physically abused and neglected at a rate 15 times higher than the national average. Several studies have shown that in 60% to 75% of families in which a woman is battered, children are also battered." 14 In addition, children living in households where domestic violence is occurring are at a higher risk for sexual abuse.

They learned at a young age to be prepared for anything. Typical activities such as having friends over to their house may be impossible due to the chaotic atmosphere. However, school performance is not always obviously affected. Children may respond by being overachievers.

in domestic violence tend to be either extremely introverted or extremely extroverted. Psychosomatic problems (aches and pains for no apparent reason) are common; these children's eating and sleeping patterns tend to be disrupted. Children who witness domestic violence can develop behavior problems, including aggression and violent outbursts.

which can stifle emotional and social development. To learn and grow into a healthy adult, children must feel confident in the world and in themselves. Domestic violence can wipe out a child's confidence and leave them shocked.




There are many different services for individuals who are experiencing an abusive situation. Law enforcement and legal aid agencies, shelters and counseling services are available to help with the many needs of women and their children experiencing violence. Counseling, group therapy and education for men who have been abusers is also available.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CLERIS, I KNOW THIS IS A HELL LOT OF INFORMATION. SORRY >,<

Labels: there was no other choice

guys, pray for me. seriously.
my com can't detect my printer which means i can print out my friend's english homework, and SHE CAN'T OPEN MY ENGLISH PROJECT PROPERLY.

as in, she can open it. but first, it was in some alien language. then i told her to change the font, and sudddenly, the 3 to 4 page of info became a whooping 112 pages of something.

and the project is due tomorrow.

*breathes in and out*

phew. i tried sending via email. cannot. i tried on msn, also cannot. then i tried power point, also cannot.

how.

and now i'm thinking of putting it up here, so that she can refer to it. how?

Labels: it's time to pray

i just watched 'Meet The Robinsons' again on disney channel :D

oh, SORRY BRENDA. I WOKE UP LATE AND MY PREPAID CARD IS SO OUTTA MONEY SO I COULDN'T REPLY YOU.

yeah. it' out of money and i'm getting so irritated by it. i kept receiving messages that need to be replied asap. bah.

anyway just incase do or brenda or anyone else sees this..

DOREEN: sure! tomorrow evening it is. :D

BRENDA: i'm terribly sorry Brenda. woke up late and my card ran out of money.

Ice-kun: yeah, i'm here. i just can't message you. >,<

okay, back to me watching 'Meet The Robinsons'. it is such a great movie. and i just love louise/lois/cornellious's motto: KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

don't dwell on all the unhappiness that happened in the past, just let it go, and KEEP MOVING FORWARD! despite all the failures, i'm sure i got to learn more from failures than success. :)

look on the positive side. keep working on it till you got it, and never give up! :D
with God's help, anything is possible. :D

Labels: smile

i thought this was
a nice way to relax
but too much chillaxing...
needs some reflecting.

<3

i visited my old blog. i read the most recent post, and i found this :)
i did some editing though. heh heh.

I'm tired of life
i just want to die.
It feels so empty.
that i just want to cry.

where are the colours?
i cannot see.
black and white
is what we'll be.

i look over there
she smiled at me
i just sat right there
for she can never set me free

i feel very warm
and very giddy too
i ask myself, "should i study?
"heck yes, or i'll fail, but am i a fool?

i've been studying like crap
and there's 7 papers to go
there's much left to do
i wish i could go with the flow

don't look back now
they're all laughing
waiting for your all grades
to start falling

my parents
yes them
have high expectations
there are still many things that i need to cram

i'd better start working
should i even care?
even if i die
who would even dare

*sighs, breaks into a smile*

i do know one thing
yes, just one
that our Father in Heaven
is the awesome one

i bet He'd help me
i would bet with all i have
that He loves me so
even if they don't care

In John 3:16, its is said right there
"Whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life"
I believe in Him, i really do
but am i just another hypocrite?

Would you run, i ask
would I run?
what would you do
if i brought a gun?

and pointed it in your face
on a sunday morning in church
are you gonna run
do you have this urge?

before you do, hear what i say
will you take a bullet for Jesus Christ?
would you run? would they run?
if they do, hypocrites they are!

now i shall end this
i feel much better
all i needed was
to type some letters

off to study
yes i will
And i'll make my parents proud!
and never NEVER will i fail.

heh. it's like some self encouragement. XD off, too work now, never will i fail!
:DD

Labels: past

well, thanks na, for everything! :D
yeah, all the naggings and stuff. it may be annoying, but it's done out of love :)
once my projects are done(please, no more projects!! >,<) then i'm done with the computer.

currently working on the slides for the english project. must must MUST get it done by today. or else, not only will my teacher 'kill' me, i'd 'kill' myself too. yes, i don't like procrastinating.

oh, something on a brighter note...
i finally spent my TIMES $40 vouchers! i got a two books and some journal/notebook thing which adds up to a total of $44.90. i should have gotten another book instead of buiying that trinity pack journal/notebook thing. it costs $14+ and the average cost of a book is around $17 dollars.

totally wasted. D: anyhoo, i bought a book by jodi picoult, tittled 'nineteen minutes' and another book by stephnie meyer, tittled 'twilight'. i've been wanting to get 'twilight' for a very long time. it caught my eye one day when i strolled into times on a sunday evening. it was right at the back of the store. a black book, with a picture of a pair of arms with an apple cupped in the hands.

i was dying to get it. i read the back of the book, and was at once mesmerised by it. unfortunately, my parents and i(haha, it was actually my dad and i. my mom was like, whatever. XD) were rushing home to catch a movie on channel 5. so i left the book there, only turning back to get one last look. it had been about two to three months since then.

AND I FINALLY GOT THE BOOK. HURRAY! :D
but, D:(must there be a 'but'?) i have no time to read it. DDD: i'll have to make time for it then. oh, and do be a dear and look out for the third book of 'the power of the five' for me. the second book was tittled 'evil star' and i saw it at borders today. :) shiny shiny extra shiny book. :D at tp library it was quite torn and tattered. D: which means it's a good book. :D but it had something that really made me borrowed it. ^^'

well, 'youth' sunday today was pretty fun. its the unofficial official youth sunday. XD what i mean is, that since tomorrow's youth day, this is some what youth sunday, no? XD shaun was getting high and all while singing a funny song about ming hui. i laughed so hard that my stomach and cheeks started to hurt. su, jo, miong and i got so carried away that we were late for service. D:

so, the service for me wasn't that good. i mean the worshipping part. i was too distracted and all. DD: i was sitting alone, and su joined me soon after. XD we were freezing towards the end of the service. she was wearing her strappy cotton on top and uber high heels that made me feel short. O.O'

me being 163.5, feeling short? yes, that was how tall su was when she wore her heels. she was about as tall as me, and her heels(which looked so awesome) was two inches high. meh. and jo tried it on too.*gasp* (oh noes..) and she was like statue of liberty or something(she was wearing a green blue top!). XD

oh, and my name appeared on the big screen, cause i took some photos which was in the powerpoint presentation that my father and two of his friends did. HORTPARK IS AWESOME. IT IS A MUST TO GO THERE!! :DD

yeap. then i saw my godma, and my godsis came running towards me after service(during lunch), calling, "melina jie jie! MELINA JIE JIE!" :D she then dragged me out to see my godma, which i heard from my mom that she changed her hairstyle or something. heh. well, overall, it was a fun and enjoyable day at church. :D

!!!prayer request!!!
->pray that i'll stop procrastinating.
->also, pray for a prepared heart and confidence, as i'm serving a keyboardist(scary la dey) on the real youth sunday. :D may i be able to get the chords right(and not screw up the whole thing) and to glorify God. :)

He gave me this gift, and i'm happy that He did. gifts from Him are meant to be used, or else, they'll just disappear in time to come.

can't wait to wear my new tube top(+ shawl) on sunday, and get SUNBURNT! on sat! XD

Labels: unofficial official youth sunday