The streets sparkle like silver
now that the rain has changed into snow
I could see a dazzling future the color of a dream
that Christmas Day
I looked at you and smiled
on that holy night,
yet your tears overflowed
"I'll love you forever..." So why?
Now the dancing snow is starting to disappear
I look up at the distant sky
Someone new is waiting for me,
but I still harbor those feelings that I can't shake
We used to laugh together back then;
we weren't afraid of anything
But I hurt your gentle spirit
that Christmas Day
Now I'm wandering aimlessly,
searching for those hopes and dreams
The sky I gaze up at
is too big for me to grasp
even if I were able to reach it So Why?
Now the dancing snow is starting to disappear
I'll take the unwavering feelings of that time
and go forth into a new tomorrow,
because we can't go back to that story
As I keep on walking, I can't help but wonder
as the snowflakes melt in my outstretched hand
if maybe someday we'll meet again
and finally be able to tell each other how we really feel
little miss.
Melina Eng, Lyna or Mel for short.
I breathed my first on 29th July 1993.
Some know me as Little Miss Random,
or the lil emo kid IMMA HAPPY GIRL RIGHT NOW!
Currently studying my forth year in CHIJ Secondary (Toa Payoh)
So here's my life, in bold, italics, and underline.
and she loves photography;
and she loves reading;
and she loves shopping;
and she loves exercising;
and she loves fishing;
and she loves doing her nails;
and she loves hanging out with her friends and family;
and she loves her friends and family;
but most of all, she loves God 'cause He is her mighty saviour :D
There are more to come, but almost all of them can be bought from Forever21 online.
If you get any of these for me anytime soon(cause some of them are final sales), I'll love you even more!
▪ Camera (Any suggestions?)
▪ New Phone(iphone 4)
▪ Headphones!(my earpieces are seriously dying)
▪ Belted Shoulder Bag
▪ Watch
▪ Belts of varying thickness
▪ Black and green jacket/hoodie pullover
▪ Painter's Skinny Jeans
▪ Gently Faded Skinny Jeans
▪ Creased and Frayed Skinny jeans
▪ Decorative Fishnets
▪ Heels
▪ Flats
▪ Put GOD first in my life
▪ Be the salt and the light of the world
▪ Do QT daily
▪ Play the keyboard better
▪ Learn how to play the awesomely rocking Bass and the totally slammin' drums
▪ Run every weekday and GET THOSE SKINNY LEGS ASAP
▪ Attend prayer meetings
▪ Meet my (RL)fandoms!
No pictures or the usual music, mood, location this time, cause I swore to myself that I would sleep after reading that 20 chapter fic. Gosh it was long, but it was good. Kept me up for hours! Sigh, the things that flew through my mind were rather depressing, so to say. Even with all the fluff going on in the fic.
I am...a coward.
There, I said it. I ran away from things, I refuse to accept reality. Being in denial, living in my own made up fantasy world, my only nirvana. It seems so much happier that way, so much safer from all the troubles of the world. Thing is, one must learn how to step down from cloud nine and garner up all the courage one has and face reality.
It thundered, just now. Not only did it echo through the whole house, it made everything shake. The ground was shaking so hard as if a major tremour just hit it due to the aftermath of some earthquake at some place in some part of the world. Maybe I'm exaggerating but you get the idea. A wave of fear overwhelmed me. It was going to rain, but it didn't. Thank goodness for that.
Like any other similar situations, I'll avoid it, I'll not look up over there anymore, I'll not make it my daily routine to go there anymore when I know so well that it will only bring me hurt. It may not be raining outside, but it's raining inside. I wished it would stop raining for I thought I would be over it by now, but no. Obviously I'm not when it comes running straight to me everyday.
I wanted my eyes to be blinded by sunlight, not fatigued from the many tears I have shed. I wanted to say or rather, shout these words.
"You're the worst mistake I've ever made. I want to give up on you, once and for all."
It sounds harsh, doesn't it? That's why I won't say it cause it is too unlike me to say something like that. I'm not known for saying such words and I don't want to. Why is it that when I do something downright unlike me, when it is really just part of another facet, they are appalled by it and in some cases, it damages the friendship?
The only thing I can do is to harangue myself for all the mistakes that I've made, but honestly speaking I am flabbergasted by the reaction given. We used to laugh together, we weren't afraid of anything. Now even speaking much less a whisper between us is like a taboo of some sort.
I can't accept the fact that it's over, but it is.
One more thing,
Happy Sweet 16th, Huilin.
I shall end here, cause raking up the past is depressing. There's no one to cry to, there never was.
