Dive Into The Heart

The streets sparkle like silver
now that the rain has changed into snow
I could see a dazzling future the color of a dream
that Christmas Day

I looked at you and smiled
on that holy night,
yet your tears overflowed
"I'll love you forever..." So why?

Now the dancing snow is starting to disappear
I look up at the distant sky
Someone new is waiting for me,
but I still harbor those feelings that I can't shake

We used to laugh together back then;
we weren't afraid of anything

But I hurt your gentle spirit
that Christmas Day
Now I'm wandering aimlessly,
searching for those hopes and dreams

The sky I gaze up at
is too big for me to grasp
even if I were able to reach it So Why?

Now the dancing snow is starting to disappear
I'll take the unwavering feelings of that time
and go forth into a new tomorrow,
because we can't go back to that story

As I keep on walking, I can't help but wonder
as the snowflakes melt in my outstretched hand
if maybe someday we'll meet again
and finally be able to tell each other how we really feel

Melina Eng, Lyna or Mel for short.
I breathed my first on 29th July 1993.
Some know me as Little Miss Random,
or the lil emo kid IMMA HAPPY GIRL RIGHT NOW!
Currently studying my forth year in CHIJ Secondary (Toa Payoh)

So here's my life, in bold, italics, and underline.

and she loves photography;
and she loves reading;
and she loves shopping;
and she loves exercising;
and she loves fishing;
and she loves doing her nails;
and she loves hanging out with her friends and family;
and she loves her friends and family;
but most of all, she loves God 'cause He is her mighty saviour :D

Free Web Counters

There are more to come, but almost all of them can be bought from Forever21 online.
If you get any of these for me anytime soon(cause some of them are final sales), I'll love you even more!

▪ Camera (Any suggestions?)
▪ New Phone(iphone 4)
▪ Headphones!(my earpieces are seriously dying)
▪ Belted Shoulder Bag
▪ Watch
▪ Belts of varying thickness
▪ Black and green jacket/hoodie pullover
▪ Painter's Skinny Jeans
▪ Gently Faded Skinny Jeans
▪ Creased and Frayed Skinny jeans
▪ Decorative Fishnets
▪ Heels
▪ Flats

▪ Put GOD first in my life
▪ Be the salt and the light of the world
▪ Do QT daily
▪ Play the keyboard better
▪ Learn how to play the awesomely rocking Bass and the totally slammin' drums
▪ Run every weekday and GET THOSE SKINNY LEGS ASAP
▪ Attend prayer meetings
▪ Meet my (RL)fandoms!

Expanding my army.

crunchyroll ♦ shattered-wings
deviantart ♦ twilight-reflection
facebook ♦ ribbonized
lastfm ♦ twoanyone
livejournal ♦ loveproof_not
twitter ♦ _MMHN
plurk ♦ ribbonized

Yes, I'm always in front of you. Right in front of you. I've never been fake to you. I sound fake? How? Explain it to me. I"ll give in to you, I always will. I am what you see and if you don't believe, I don't know how to make you to believe. Something was telling me not to go and see what you've written, but I wanted to anyways. You are and will always be my friend, no matter what. I don't care if you don't reply but I care that you read. I don't care that you don't want to talk to me, as long as you're feeling happy.

My limits, I know my limits, but do you know them? I don't know yours but you could say it. We could just sit down and just talk. I don't mind if we get into a fight but as long as through that, if we get to know each other better, (shit, I think I'm going to cry) I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind it at all. I don't want to lose a friend, never again.

Well, I know that what I say may sound like I'm trying to please the people around me, but I've always lived by this rule: treat people as how you want them to treat you. I've always lived by this rule, always. Oh fine, it's more of a a saying, not a rule. After the bullying incident (I know you know that, I told you in a rather jokingly matter cause I didn't want it to affect our happy jolly mood then. You know, be all depressed and stuff. It's just not fun anymore when I don't see my friends smile.), I read about it so many places, I heard about it from so many people that those who get bullied turn bullies themselves, so I never thought of being mean. I never liked being mean. I never liked being mean from the time I started my time in IJ. Never. I never wanted to see my friends cry because of what I did, or I'd cry too.

I am not a bimbo. I may act or sound like one to you, but I don't think I am a bimbo, neither do I like to be labelled as one. I wanted to be nice, to everybody, to anybody whether they are popular or not. Then there was the thing of being influenced by people, and my well, popularity(I don't know, I don't like to use that word on myself) being destroyed. I can strike up a conversation with even that girl, even though I'll feel awkward, but I know how she feels, wanting to be accepted and all. I know y'all don't like her, but try to understand, please. It's tough being a misfit for three years.

I have friends, yet, yet... I don't know what to say anymore. I just think that friends are fun to make and I know intruding on conversations are rude, but yeah. I'm sorry. I really am. I'll not do that again, then. Trying to keep up this facade is not good for my emotional health, and I want to cry. But I always cry to you. I always thought I could count on you, for everything.

We both are challenging, but I'm not to that extent. Really. Who competes to see who has the largest amount of friends anyways? I shall stop here, or I'll really start crying.

Bell, I'll tell you everything when I see you next time.

Labels: depressed., emo