A day and a life.

Love is in the air,

2011-02-12T22:03:00.003+08:00

never assume the other person's feelings,

because unrequited love is just unfair.

Oh, the problems. There's nothing else to say since this is a public blog

but it is always better to be safe than sorry. My hunches were right but it was too spot on. Can't it be another?

Words always leave an impression

2011-01-20T17:08:00.004+08:00

they stay forever etched in memories

whether good or bad.

Today was a day of much confusion, even after a refreshing run.

I may have given much advice today but to how much it helps them, I do not know. There is always a strong feeling whether my words do help or not every time I try to say something encouraging or when giving advice. Is it best to just sit there and watch people's lives go by because one is afraid of the words spoken or just go with the flow and help to the best of one's ability?

Perhaps it's the weather. Whatever it is, my tlist seems really down today~ Pray for those who are ill or are about to fall ill, may God's healing hand be upon them. Also, for the JAE results to be successful(is that even the right word?) no matter where we are posted to.

Amen.

twitterific.

2011-01-17T10:48:00.003+08:00

when i see your face, there's not a thing that I would change

'Cause you're amazing just the way you are.

Going to work is so cumbersome, exhausting, pressurising but at least it brings in money.

Time to go for work again~

To my darling,

2011-01-16T23:25:00.003+08:00

Sistar - Shady Girl

When I'm watching a movie, I have to be startled.

When I eat with you, I have to leave something aside.

Even if I'm not sad, tears have to flow.

Do you know those feelings of mine?

When I drink water, I have to pretend being drunk.

No matter how hard it is, I always have to smile.

It seems like it's about to rain, so I have to be nervous.

Do you know those feelings of mine?

* I'm this shady girl, who loves only you.

I'm this shady girl, who is only looking at you.

I need you boy. Like this, I love only you.

I'm tensed, tensed, tensed about you leaving me.

I'm nervous, nervous, nervous.

As time goes by, this shady girl thinks only of you.

Even if it's always bothersome, I put on make up every day.

Even if my legs hurt, I wear high heels.

I'm wearing pretty clothes, so that I can look good for you.

Those are my feelings you know about.

Even if I see good-looking men, you have to know you're best.

Because of you, I always hang up the phone when I'm chattering.

I'm cleaning, maybe you will show up at my home.

You know about my feelings exhausted like this.

* REPEAT

On the outside, I'm laughing, but on the inside, I'm crying.

Without looking into your eyes, I'm waiting endlessly.

I'm getting angry, whenever I see this two-faced me.

Why do I get so small in front of you? Why?

I don't know why.

I'm this shady girl, who loves only you.

I'm this shady girl, who is only looking at you.

I need you boy, I care about you so much.

You're so special to me, I love you boy!

I'm tensed, tensed, tensed about you leaving me.

I'm nervous, nervous, nervous.

As time goes by, this shady girl thinks only of you.

---

This shady girl thinks you are the one, friendly, kind, caring, looks amazing and everything that she dreams. I hope you see this darling, this song makes me think of you always.

Precious, gorgeous, sweet, amazing baby, you're my only one. <3

"If you can dream it, you can do it"

2010-11-03T20:09:00.008+08:00

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind killer.

Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

Dune by Frank Herbert

♥Listening to: Sunshine Love, A-mi

♥Mood: bouncy

♥Location: alternative study table(?), the one downstairs

The title says it all. Was told by Via to update my ever-so-dead blog so here I am? Nine more days of hell, nine more days till we can break free from the chains of education even though it is only for a while(two months to be exact) before the results are released in mid January. Whatever it is let's live life to the fullest!

Oh. The little extra bounce and chirpy-ness when I switch from earphones to headphones. This is why headphones win earphones almost anytime, quality music is loved. HAHAH, MY DAD JUST CAUGHT HIS FOOT ON THE EXTENSION CORD AND GAVE THE WHAT-THE-HECK EXPRESSION. This post is going to be a ton of random things thrown together just like a random update as usual.

Today's paper was Biology and I'm euphoric that it's finally over! Not o-levels, that requires a more larger celebration. Only three more papers to the end of it all. CELEBRATE, HEY~! Currently doing some research for Art which is on the 10th. Many people prefer to work on something more concrete, something that they can can grasp, something that follows a proper theme from beginning to end. Unlike them, abstract ideas are my love. It just isn't the norm to focus on a single theme unless it's glamour or some other theme similar to that trail of perspective.

Easiest way to tackle this subject is to do something personal or at least something that you yourself can relate to yet it makes people think about themselves too. Twist the theme to suit you, not the other way around. Use the theme to your advantage which reminds me.

Art(as in apparel design) or a Plastic Surgeon? I've been stuck in this dilemma since June after deciding to take on either one of these paths. Leave a tag in the cbox regarding this, aye? Also, please watch out for spammers on your cbox. As you can see, they have been spamming my cbox probably just to earn profit by gaining traffic to their site. Beware of them spammers.

On a brighter note, U-Kiss is finally coming back to S'pore for promotional activities! Their concert is held on the 19th of November at Bedok reservoir with a fansign during noon and a concert at 8pm. Can't wait! Although I have only traveled with them as an unofficial-official Kiss Me since around April 28th this year, this half a year was the best half year and to be honest, probably just slightly better than them KAT-TUN days. KAT-TUN was my longest fandom to date lasting about (since sec three is in '08) one and a half years? DBSK brought me to the Kpop world last year with Mirotic and somehow U-Kiss entered my life sometime after SHINee did. U-Kiss, a self initiated fandom that will last for many years to come. OMO, 2008. the year I got into Jpop, the year U-Kiss debuted~!<3

Alrightie. O-levels aren't over yet and I'm already gushing about them coming. Ttyl, love you love you love you~

P.S. Sunshine Love is still on repeat however it is getting a little too upbeat so time for Sikkeurot!! by U-Kiss~<3

P.P.S. Those who have Twitter, add me @_MMHN

P.P.P.S. Gamer's update: dad bought Fatal Frame 3 and Onimusha 4! Oh yeah baby baby baby girl~!

My Only one.

2010-10-13T18:29:00.004+08:00

Life would be tougher without you

Filled with gloomy days and lonely footsteps

Only you can shine through those massive dark clouds

Only you, baby

♥Listening to: Mworago, U-Kiss
♥Mood: a mix of frustration and sadness
♥Location: in the hall

Why hello. It has been eons since my last post, thank goodness I haven't forgotten how to blog. School has been cheery, stressful, dramatic and well, like a whirlpool of emotions together with the exams coming and school ending. To think the class would treasure these last few days together. Whatever. I'm too nice to actually be mad instead, I'd rather go with the flow.

The reason for my presence here is because of THE DAMN HOTMAIL THAT REFUSED TO ACCEPT MY PASSWORD WHEN IT IS ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CORRECT. Some ass might have hacked into it, since someone from USA logged into my Facebook which had the same password. Please, tell me what you hackers can gain from hacking into an account of a normal student who is trying to cope with exams stress. WHAT. WHAT. MWORAGO. Damn hotmail. Alrightie, time to shower.

Hotmail may be tugging, attempting to snap that last nerve but there are other priorities to take care of. For example, revision. Good bye.

Hey yo check the way you speak and the way you sound,

Being like a freak invading my soul,

Girl you're pissin' me off,

Disappear.

Get away.

Shut up, shut off.

Shut up.

P.S. Are there spammers or spybots lately? I don't recall having this much traffic to my blog(the cbox has a ton of foreign tags).

A talent that kills,

2010-08-18T23:58:00.002+08:00

yet it's useful in life,

depending on what the situation is.

The box is almost done and trust me, it's the only thing that will be proudly occupying a space in my room after the marking. Screw the models, the boards were too soft to bring out the intensity of the colours. Goodbye.

Till the next time.

2010-07-02T13:33:00.004+08:00

Do you believe in love at first sight

or do you want me to walk by again?

This is going to be the last post till whenever, so lets end it with a quote. Focus, there isn't much time left.

Square root of three. If you were to give him a number, it'd be the square root of three.

It means, "still too difficult for elementary schoolers, so you shouldn't show it to them."

Look in to the mirror,

2010-06-27T17:13:00.007+08:00

is that you or me?

Is that a shadow,

a reflection,

what do you see?

♥Listening to: Complication, Rookiez is Punk'd
♥Mood: neutral
♥Location: in the hall

Yesterday was great, finally did some shopping. Thank goodness we went to 313 or there goes the totally awesome wallet which my sister is going to pay for later. For now, it's just a large hole in my wallet screaming to be filled again. Not to mention there is still a hoodie pullover to buy. Who knows where to get cheap black pullover hoodies? In S'pore that is.

Anyway, DRRR just ended but there should be another season. Think about it. Why was Shizuo's brother mentioned in the opening if he isn't going to play a big part in the series? He hardly appears, so they must have a reason. Besides, Bakyura had it's first appearance at the last ending, weird much? PLus, the Orihara Twins whose information is on wiki hasn't even appeared yet so all you DRRR fans, be patient and wait! It might come out near the end of this year or the start of next. A good show shouldn't have it's production rushed or it'll turn out horrible. Funny how the song sung by ON/OFF isn't really good but the instrumental is hypnotic(No offense, but the opening of VK which is also by them is pretty boring).

What else.

Kida's seiyu is a wonderful singer, Linda Linda plus the special voice clip brightens up my day, always.

Ho hum.

Other than cramming homework and church(which Jasper gave a meaningful sermon on Youths and friends), there's nothing much. School awaits all students again but friends make it enjoyable. I miss my dongsaeng! Ah, and my unnie. Penpal away~ Till the next time.

P.S. I still love Kame, but Kida...you know. <3

P.P.S Who knows what are the proper codes to strike out words? Help?

Ciao.

This one's for you.

2010-06-24T21:07:00.004+08:00

Happy belated Birthday, my darling, my baby, I love you.♥

Vamoose,I say.

2010-06-24T20:23:00.003+08:00

A nymph and a swain to Apollo once prayed

The swain had been jilted, the nymph been betrayed

They came for to try if his oracle knew

E're a nymph that was chaste, or a swain that was true.

Be gone.

Scat.

Vanish.

Disappear.

Sublimate.

Decamp.

This mental fatigue is not easy to get used to, I must say. Where were the days when fatigue was like a deadly drug that pushed boundaries beyond limits? The gravitas expression that seem to be a wet blanket anywhere, an atmosphere avoided by most. Yet with tired eyes it yearns for some attention to stay awake, to be alive, to survive.

A phantasmagoria of ghosts and haunting creatures seen with closed eyes. Creatures with eyes of a black abyss that attempts to drain the life out of one whose life has already been claimed by earthly things. Draining life out of a shell only drains it's energy that it needs for a life. Morbid, but still sane. It's the truth, every word of it. The feeling of adrenaline flowing, heart pounding, vision blurring is cutting my life shorter by the minute. Masochism-it lives in everyone.

---

Art is once again robbing me of my life. It's quite the norm, actually. Tonight is going to be a sleepless night-there's just so much to do for Art. Hopefully after today, Art wouldn't be that demanding. My inexorable self refuses to give into human weakness.

Things to do:

Finalized design

Colour scheme for around 3/4 to half the alphabets

Development(models, manipulating into the alphabets)

Three things. Or at least the first and the third point. Summer break is ending soon, oh the joy-there's so many tasks to complete. An endless list of them, really.

Ciao, Art time.

Anywhere but here.

2010-06-24T07:19:00.004+08:00

'cause it's getting too much to handle

every thing's blurring out

The red threads of destiny seems to be tangled in a bundle

Hey y'all, wassup?

Summer break's ending soon, a total of 112 days gone in a flash. It's just never enough, is it? Anyways, two weeks were spent in school so it wasn't much of a holiday after all. There's humanities, math, english and a little more science to finish, oh yeah. Not to mention Art. It's a killer, honest. Just imagine staying in school from 10am to 5pm for five days straight working on the same subject! There's still a ton of development to do, looks like Art has to come before sleep. The submission is in late August. Oh the horror.

On the bright side, Halley and I have officially became penpals! ♥ Like finally. It's difficult to chat online since our time difference is 12 hours. Sad, isn't it? Unnie, I'll visit you some day.

Just got my french tips done. Hopefully it lasts till the end of the week 'cause I'm kind of careless. The last time I tries, the french tips were ruined in a day and it took forever to dry in the first place. Moral of the story: avoid using ~~faceshop~~ white as it dries up fast. Sticky nail polish is a no go for french tips.

Other than homework, a couple of birthdays are coming-time for major present making sessions. Julyn's up first, on 5th July. The composition is done, just need to get some pictures before starting work.

Alright, time for some Art and Science.

Ciao.

P.S I got the cotton cap! <3

Kanra(you know who you are),

2010-06-19T17:05:00.003+08:00

to celebrate me finding your site, Imma posting the best quote ever. This also deserves a new label! 8D

"It's too addicting, it's too addicting, it's too addicting! Even for an information broker like me there are things completely unknown to me happening and happening and appearing before my eyes and lapsing back into unknown every single day. That is why I can never ever leave the places where humans abound! Humans, LOVE! I LOVE HUMANS! I LOVE YOU ALL! THAT'S WHY YOU ALL SHOULD LOVE ME TOO! "

Nothing surprising.

2010-06-18T17:23:00.005+08:00

Hi. Erm. The header picture's changed 'cause I simply love these two to death. Gamer's update; KH:COM is finally completed after what, two years? Never got the chance to play it until now. Thanks a lot, Dante. DMC 4 is out, yet another game to add to my to-play-list.

Here's a quick review of the game. The new battle system is pretty tricky and annoying but it does comes in handy during boss battles. While they are reloading their decks(which takes a while 'cause they have much more cards), heal and attack with all you've got. Unless you're fighting Marluxia, that's another story. Having played part of the GBA version, I was psyched to play it on ps2, since my GBA got crushed by a pile of books. IT WAS A GIFT, DAMMIT.

The only criticism is the camera angle. While the GBA allows full-view of the surroundings, ps2 only shows a small area. Especially when you're trying to find some way to heal when Sora's health bar is dangerously low. A darn heartless pops up and the game ends in a hit. Or, you just want to get it done and over with when suddenly, a heartless pops up from somewhere not in the screen. OR you just want to get somewhere, anywhere but the camera angle only allows you to see just that much.

Other than that, it was a very enjoyable 40+ hours. Monstro was my least favourite world in KH1 due to the many confusing rooms that all look alike. Thank goodness it was so much easier to get around with the room synthesizing.

The battles with Cloud, Maleficent, Riku ~~replica~~ (number 4) and Marluxia were the most adrenaline pumping moments ever. Cloud was pretty fast(slow compared to Riku) with strong physical attacks and sleighs. It took forever just to get past him, so much that Atlantica became a training area. Don't be an idiot like me by not reviewing your decks or Cloud is as far as one will and can go. Although his attacks maybe deadly, they are mostly avoidable, including Omnislash. Time it right and jump in another direction just as the blade's coming down to avoid. Sonic Blade is much easier to avoid. Take note of which direction he's heading and doge roll to the left or right of it.

Riku on the other hand was really challenging and one agile dude, supposedly the hardest boss battle in the entire game. Taking a defensive stance isn't the best idea after all since running around to doge his wicked fast attacks just to reload the deck is futile. The best is go for a balance. Have these in your deck, or something similar:

11-12 attack cards(with four to five nines and five zeros)

an elixir

four cure cards(includes a 'zero' cure to break sleighs)

one 'zero' ether

two hi-potions

three Cloud cards for Omnislash(a must for all boss battles)

Vexen card

Oogey Boogie card

two fire cards(Riku may be resistant to it but it does quite a hefty sum of damage for some unknown reason. It's a fantastic way to knock the life out of him or any 'boss' for that matter.)

Make sure Sora's around level 50 near sixty, you don't want to stock up too many cure cards as they take up a ton of CP. Use the Vexen card at the start of the battle just incase. Place the zeros to the back, followed by magic the attack cards. Get used to rotating to the zeros and attack cards for this is crucial. The most vulnerable moment is when one is rotating through the cards so do it quick. Try to break the most damaging sleighs/attacks-the up-close spinning attack is one of them, sneaky and does a lot of damage. Use Cloud's Omnislash(cards 1, 4 and 7 should do the trick) to pack a punch and Fira when he's running around. Riku releases a furry of sleighs when down to the last bar so hit him with all the sleighs possible. Using card by card at this stage is not advisable. Not only is it slow, Riku can card break you easily so think fast!

Maleficent is another pain. Stock up two to three blizzard cards and fire them to card break when she blows green flames. There's a trick to avoiding these flames actually. Either card break it or or run around the back left (or right but pick one side) and let that area be covered in flames while doging them. When she's done, run behind her to heal and attack from there. Break the stun attacks when ever possible, try not to get caught up in one. She starts out with two, then four-a major killer. Friend cards are advisable except for goofy, same goes for summons- just use the Mickey card first.

Swap the Fire cards for Blizzard before taking on Axel as fire heals Axel. Cloud cards are rendered as useless due to Axel's teleporting.

By now, Sora should be near seventy(Castle Oblivion is a great training ground-just re-synthesize a couple of doors. Have Firaga Ball on hand as well as Tornado. Make great use of Trinity Limit to end the battle fast.).

As for Marluxia, the imitation is just a warm up, don't get your hopes too high. Once the imitation's done, switch back to the same cards as when dealing with Riku but swap the Blizzard back to Fire. Change a couple of attack cards so as to have enough CP for the Marluxia card.

Marluxia has to be fought twice after entering the door, be forewarned. The usual, break Marluxia's sleighs and attack. Use Fira when he's out of range. Take note when he uses Doom where you have to match or break his cards- it's one of his sleighs. Break the sleigh or his cards if not, death awaits you. There's another sleigh that you must take note of: one where all your cards are scattered round the area, leaving Sora hopelessly vulnerable. If you're caught in this situation, do not despair. Auto-lock on Marluxia, hold the R3 button to scan and retrive the cards. When he uses a sleigh during this moment, break it with a zero. Make great use Cloud's Omnislash when fighting Marluxia's imitation and Marluxia himself, since there's only one target and it's not an easy sleigh to break. Before using Omnislash or any other powerfully deadly sleigh(eg. Lethal Flame, which is more damaging than Cloud's Sonic Blade) or Cures, use the Marluxia card to do that particular sleigh twice.

Unfortunately, I did not get the Sonic blade upgrate so Omnislash and Lethal Flame is the next best thing.

Time to play Riku's part.

[Edited on 19th, added more details.]

Ciao.

Just like an addiction;

2010-06-16T12:43:00.005+08:00

it turns all your attention to it,

takes away your life,

and leaves you in the dark abyss of your own world

♥Listening to: Super massive Black Hole, Muse
♥Mood: sick
♥Location: in the hall

It's been raining these few days and my body couldn't adapt the sudden change of weather. It's the holidays, summer break! What the heck, Mother Nature decides to bless me with a cold. A cold in the summer. Sweet, isn't it? Anyways, the rain took out morning run for today's schedule. What a bummer-I even woke up on time, just when the alarm went off! Other than that, I practiced a little keyboard to get back in gear for serving this Sunday. Going to get back to work after wasting so much time last night on diy-ing french manicured tips(yes, painting nails is counted as a wasted of time just this once) so i decided to snag my sister's opi purple. A solid colour is the best, enough said.

There's Math, English, Poa, sciences and Geog to do today, with some Art before turning it. I'm terribly afraid to start on my final work. What if I ruin it? There are spare boards courtesy of Mr Chen and SL, still... Oh well, a good start is half the battle won. There's also the observation to be done and finalizing the design too! Got to get all the menial things done first or nothing will turn up on paper. Cheers, still got to download Paramore's third album. Been straying further and further away from JKpop and more toward American rock and etc. Was it all part of the K-wave or just something that didn't kept my interest? Like Joey, spending too much time on fandom can be a bore. Perhaps it's time for a change of things?

Before I forget, gamer's update. ;D

I'm almost done with Sora's part in KH:COM, and I'm bursting with excitement to get my hands on the Riku reverse rebirth part. Hell yeah. On the other hand, GOW3 is coming out on PS3 so it's time to save up some money. KH: Birth by sleep and FF13 is also out on PS3! Doladola.

Ciao.

P.S. COTTON CAP. GIMME GIMME.

Sunny days, rainy nights,

2010-06-15T13:53:00.013+08:00

and lazy afternoons.

Hello everyone，

It's been a while. The second week of the holidays are here and time is running out. O-levels are this year and I'm not sure if I can stay sane. Gosh, there isn't much to say actually since it was something like house-arrest after Chinese O-levels. Apparently some people think it's alright not to have a break but devote all spare time to revising, preparing for exams. Hello? Humans aren't robots. Even so, robots need maintenance too or they'd malfunction and go nutty. Even caffeine fails as an energy booster now, instead it does the exact opposite-a sleeping pill.

Other than facing words and numbers, freedom took me in when my parents went on a vacation. Had a sleepover at Kylie's, went out with XH to search for hoodie printing materials, cycled and had a whale of a time at East Coast and recently went boy watching at streetfest.

While on a mission to complete that day's shopping list, Jill and I stumbled upon two people cosplaying Sakura and Kakashi. Gosh, he was so hot. ♥ Took a couple of photos with other cosplayers after and ~~fail!stalked~~ a Ventus cosplayer who ruined the rest of my day. Even if half the costume's off, can't you, a fabulous cosplayer satisfy this fangirl's need by taking just one photo? It's not like one's soul would be trapped in a camera for the rest of eternity, yes?While ~~stalking~~, the full costume was on and only when there was an opportunity to take a photo, half the costume's off. Oh well.

According to Bel, his name is Zander Valentine(on facebook that is). Yet he denied that the person in the photo is him, saying that he didn't attend streetfest. The sky would fall if those words were true.

Funny how almost half of this post seems to be about one ~~person~~topic. 77th Street, wait for me-that cotton cap is mine.

Ciao.

P.S. Here's the picture of that cutie(on the far right)~ ♥ his eyes.

The chapter's done,

2010-03-16T14:59:00.002+08:00

but the story still goes on.

You're my sunshine, my love, my sister.

I love you from the depths of my soul, Ju Lyn. <3

The Korean culture may be slowly engulfing us, but it's a common topic, and friendships start from somewhere. Don't think so much about it cause long lasting friendships blossom even from the simplest of things.

You should be doing the killing...

2010-01-02T20:25:00.003+08:00

but don't - life is beautiful;

see the sun, see the rainbow,

don't stand there with your head in the clouds all the time!

♥Listening to: Gara gara go, Big Bang
♥Mood: busy(cause if I don't think that I'm tired, I won't be)
♥Location: in the hall

SAY B-I-G TO THE BANG~! Excuse the randomness, that song is playing right now. Major apologies, but this here blog is going to be on hiatus again. School is starting and 'O' levels(or National Exams as some of you know it) are coing in half a year's time. Oh, the horror. Time to buck up, manage my priorities right and put aside fandom for a while other than occasionally downloading some new songs and deleting some old ones(who wants to get me another thumbdrive?) which pains me so. Life is going to be pretty boring and stressful until the year is over, so I hope everything will turn out alright. Happy New Year to all, I hope that this year will be another awesomely epic year even if last year was so horrible you just wanted to jump off a building some times or wished whoever is making your life that bad would just slip, fall down, knock his or her head and die, this year is going to be good if you think it is. It's all in the head. I love y'all, stay safe, eat well, sleep properly, and stay optimistic. There are some good points about being a little pessimistic too, so get a good balance.

Time is ticking away, so I must fly. Tonight will be a sleepless night for sure. Surprisingly, the couch is more comfotable than the bed. Is that weird or weird?

Forget about the mistakes that you will never commit again, stay happy.

Goodbye.

P.S. I've always found saying "goodbye" at the end of a post depressing, like it will be the last time I'll be here but that's not the case, isn't it?

P.P.S. Someone help me with my music player please, it refuses to play anything. Give it sound, give it life.

Tell me this isn't true,

2009-12-30T00:10:00.003+08:00

tell me it isn't you.

♥Listening to: the tele
♥Mood: tired
♥Location: in the hall

"You're so awfully small to be so hugely irritating." said I, and Via just tossed a 'whatever' look at me. We both laughed. It was always fun going out with her. Pictures are on Facebook, as usual. Feeling a little somnolent now, after a day of shopping in heels which resulted with a blister, bubble, whatever it is called on one of my toes. Although getting a daily dose of fandom(2PM bias) kept me in an ebullient mood, it did take a toll on me after. After, being now. The headache's coming in, leaving my head throbbing in pain. That's the sign to turn in, but not without some reading. I find solace in one of my favourite past time, with music evoking different emotions to suit the story. Promise me you won't laugh when I say that I'm reading the Twilight Saga again, it's just that addictive. YOU PROMISED NOT TO LAUGH. The fic that I'm writing will have to be put on hold for now. With the ideas in my head and part of the story in the Drafts, it should make it's first chapter into the comm soon enough.

Cheers, might or might not be on hiatus from tomorrow onwards. Homework will be the death of me.

four hundredth and six post

2009-12-28T16:32:00.003+08:00

No Kame picture of the typical LJ stuff. Just a normal entry cause I'm feeling a little off now. Enjoy the following three videos, my current craze these days.

With Kaotsun's friends.

Her solo.

The original. 2PM, Heartbeat.

Listen to my heartbeat,

2009-12-27T15:30:00.004+08:00

it's beating for you.

♥Listening to: Heartbeat, 2PM
♥Mood: tired
♥Location: in the hall, home alone

Today. I think I played _____(insert your thoughts here) today. The transitions, the wrong chords, the missing chords, Matthew singing the song quietly to aid me during the solos when I got lost...

Anyhoo, it was a tiring day with 2PM's Heartbeat on repeat(hey, that rhymes!). MEL IS GOING TO MASTER THAT DANCE. Cause it's just so awesomely epic. Not only that one, but many others too. Thank you, Jolynna for the lovely gift.

Yan came for the Christmas event yesterday from dinner onwards! Thank you for taking time out of your busy and tiring schedule for me. Hope you had a nice rest! By the way, is there something wrong with blogger? The tagboards can't seem to work. My mind refuse to function properly now, guess I'm too tired but if I sleep not then there won't be enough time for my daily dose of fandom and doing up Yan's and Halley's present.

Cheers, time to get started.

P.S. (Here's the Primadonna talking) Oh Won Bin, ex F.T. Island member needs love(hence he's my entry picture for today). He has been removed from all the F.T. Island comms on LJ and there's no other comms specifically just for him. Hopefully he releases something as a solo artist soon. ♥

Hokkaido, Japan. 18th, 19th and 20th December 2009; Got to get that

2009-12-25T01:53:00.006+08:00

boom, boom, boom.

♥Listening to: Prologue, Beauty and the Beast OST
♥Mood: tired
♥Location: in the hall, home alone

The hotel was horrible. The alarm didn't wake me up. I'm not sure if it even rang. I mean, if normal alarms can get me up and going, why not this one? So, this post was originally written in point form of the places, so it's up to my memory to do the rest. While waiting for oppa to come down with the breakfast coupon(he is such a girl sometimes. Shhh!) I saw thia mini display turtle with a shell decorated with red diamons! Aka Kame! AKAME! <3 My fangirl side was squealing with joy. Again they forced me to eat up and we were the last people to arrive. First up was the Old village thing, where people donated old houses from that time and preserved it. We took loads of pictures, and some of the insides of the houses reminded me of Onimusha. Honest! The pictures will be up....tomorrow. There was also this playground with a swing and seesaw, basic stuff. While swinging high, it reminded me of that time in Australia. It was my first time swinging so high without any help, much thanks to Rachel who taught me during the retreat in June. I had fun pushing unnie since she couldn't get high enough. (:

It was time to get back to the second building on the map, to see the family of ultra man. HAHA. Anyways, they changed the exhibit and it was empty like nothing. ): Unnie was buying a drink and when she dropped 10 yen, the Japanese students picked it up and didnt even say anything. Watshi okane(which means my money in Japanese)! D<

Next up was the Zoo! :D I forgot how long ti took to get there, but it wasn't that long. We had to walk a long way from the east gate entrance to the penguin area where they are doing their exercise. They do it twice a year and it's a really popular attraction among the locals. They look so adorable and this little toddler, Sakura-chan was also adorable. She almost fell but her okasan picked her up in time. (: Umma and I were just cooing Sakura-chan until they bid farewell.

We went to look at many other animals too but first was the other species of penguins, then we sort of split up. We were sort of lost when trying to find our way to see the wolves but we found our way there anyways. On our way there, we passed the leopard cage, the panther and the grizzly. OH! The grizzly was just too cute. It was so cold that even the grizzly was pawing the door to get out of the cold. <3 When we got to the wolves, the viewing area was just so awesome. It was only when I heard the two guys near us excalimed, "Suge!" did I turn my head around and was shocked by what I saw. The white wolf was just inches away form my face, of course, I was behind the transparent glass. Oppa was still trying to find the wolves until I hit him on the arm who knows how many times before he turned around and caught the wolf walking away.

I hightailed out of the place as soon as the wolves went out of sight, hoping to catch them at the other side, which I did. I got insanely cool shots of them too. The white one smiled at me! It was so adorable. I smiled and waved back too, of course. The wolves then became very panicky and started pacing around when they heard the clock chime. It was then when the photo taking got hard. They must have been worried or afarid of something, or they were just mocking me when I was stupidly following them to get a good shot. The black wolf reminded me of Sam Uely(however you spell his surname) though. The eyes were like Jacob's. Went to see the white foxes later and the lazy polar bear next. Unnie and I laughed at it's laziness. It was so cold that our toes were freezing and hurting from the cold. In a desperate attempt to get warm, I bought hot chocolate for 120 yen. It was tasty, but not toasty. The six of us rushed back to the visitor's center where it was nice and warm. Got a couple more shots of the beautiful sunset and chatted with Yan and Peichuan.

After was the Snow museum, a lot more pictures and umma and I grumbled about appa, being a little annoying when he refused to take picures when the battery was low. So what if the battery was dying? It was almost the last stop. All of us were amazed by the different tyoes of snow flakes they are, amazed by God's creation. How great is our God! There was this room that looked like something out of Final Fantasy where they had pictures of all the different ypes of snow flakes. Beautiful.

Next was shopping again, since it was too early for dinner. Guess what? :D NEWS was advertising this perfume brand and I saw their little ad! Like, paper ad. <3 Precious Rose, if I'm not wrong. It was their anniversary. Adorable. The mall had like what, gap which was on 50% off for the WHOLE ENTIRE FRIGGIN' STORE! :D Unnie did all the shopping since I wasn't that interested in long sleeves(not until now that is). :/ We were late again, but thankfully after slpitting up with the boys midway, we met again on the escalator down. CK got a good saying from unnie. ^^' At least she bought a top from there. Next up was dinner, but before that was taking a brief look at the 30+ story watch tower where you can see the whole nightview. The guys had it better, as they got to see the view in their toilets too while the girls just had the normal cubicals. Dinner was delish ramen, where they greet you oh-so-enthusiastically when you enter and leave. One of the waiter is such a cutie, seriously. I wanted to ask if I can take a picture with him but...no guts. Heh. Okay, so the bullet for dinner says Dinner: Ramen <3 + fish :/ + pork :D + rice but I have no idea what led to the fish, pork and rice.

The outside of the hotel was cold, negative seven degrees celcius. The hotel was horrible, such a small room. Oppa and I had to tag team to lift the table with the tele so that there was enough space for his luggage. For the first time, there was no CNN, no English channels. ): There wasn't a hair dryer either, so we couldn't wet our hair when we showered. At least there was a nice Japanese movie to watch. Sure, I couldn't understand much but there wasn't a need to. Japanese has this ablity to capture the emotion and all that and make it understandable to one who doesn't understand Japanese. It was such a touching story about a dog named Mani and a family whose old house got destroyed in an earthquake. The rescuers saved everyone but the dogs(it was a small family!) and the girl was crying so bad which made me wanted to cry too. Mani just kept running after the helicopter but it was impossible to catch up with her. Mani had to live alone without any shelter from the crows that pecked it's child and the cold rain. Well, Mani did find shelter for the rain and a quilt to keep the pups warm. Long story short, they came back for Mani and the family was reunited again. Happy ending, as always.

P.S. Heat packs work when it's not suppose to, freezes when it needs to.

P.P.S. I wrote Kame(in Hiragana) <3 and part of the White Christmas lyrics on the window and hotel toilet(the mirror got foggy after shower) Also I wrote aishiteru, Kame(in Hiragana) <3 on the window and on the wooden seesaw in snow! <3 SPREAD THE AKAME.

---

I can't remember much, but I remember anything on 19th since I was too tired to write, much less do QT but on the 20th, we had to wake up at 5am, leave for the airport at 540am and have a mini breakfast on the bus. We had a delish lunch and had to run for our flight. At the check in point, it was so embarassing. We cut the whole queque and the Japanese couple behind me kept asking why and what are they doing to themselves. ): If only I knew how to converse in Japanese then I would have explained it to them. We made in in time, with unnie and I doing a lot of running in heels. The flight back was awesome! Who knew Yan was into Japanese and Korean pop too? :D We chatted throughout the whole flight back home(five hours!) and I ignored the pain in my ears. It was just so great to find a fellow fan. (: Yan and I were gradually getting jetlag on our way to collect the luggage. We were chatting about all the bands we knew, intorducing bands to each other and playing games on her itouch. TAP TAP, TAP TAP REVENGE! :D We took a group picture before separating and headed back home in a taxi after the rest of my family were done buying what they needed for their friends and themselves.

---

Cheers, time to wrap presents! <3

Hokkaido, Japan. 17th December 2009; It's 4am and I'm waking up to your perfume

2009-12-25T00:44:00.003+08:00

don't get up I'll get through on my own.

♥Listening to: 너에게 미쳤었다, 2pm.
♥Mood: tired
♥Location: in the hall, home alone

Imma going to rush through this, since it's a day late(meaning I wrote it on the 18th). ): Got mad at appa last night and I'm not going to talk about it. It does have a nice ring to it though. Whatev, I like how it sounds. I gots an unlucky touch! It's out first Western breakfast today, not too bad. The bedside table alarm clock is amazingly cool. How I wish Singapore had such things, or sold such things. Their toilet bowls are awesomely cool too. It heats up! :d Anyways, the Hokkaido milk is tasty. I just saw the advertisment last morning and wanted to taste it and I finally did. We went to two places. I forgot what was the first place and oppa forgot too but the second place was the so called antique street where they sold coffee with the Hello Kitty cup for 480 yen, the six flavour ice cream for 500 yen, with the snowman on top would be for 850 yen and the mix flavour for 380 yen, five flavours.

We took a couple of pictures and went to the shop that sold musical boxes. Really expensive musical boxes. There was the organ, so called fairground organ where in the olden times themepark, the sounds were usually created by the large organ over yonder. After that, while unnie and her boyfriend went to look for a nice musical box, appa and the rest of us went to Uniqlo and did some shopping! I got a grey zip-up hoodie and a nice pair of jeans. :D The people there or rather, anywhere has exellent service! :D Dinner was near some lake, while we took pictures at freagin' negative four degrees celcius. We had a wonderful snowball fight after in the heavy snow, like really heavy snow! O: CK and I threw snow and snowballs into the lake before the fight began.

As we got near the restaruant, unnie threw a 'snowball' the size of an A4 size paper at CK. It was hilarious. Also, she realised that her scarf was missing only when she stepped into the BBQ restaraunt. CK found it at the place where she picked up a snowball *points at the sketchbook* ye big. Dinner was just too fishy, no pun intended. Cooked salmon fish especially and before we even started, we complained about the little amount of food given, and that they should have given more fish. LUCKILY, they didn't. We all got sick of fish when the last thing to finish was fish. D<

The hotel was nearby, and the rooms were huge. Had a nice soak in the tub before sleeping. We went to the 100 yen shop and bought things. Unnie stocked up on a lot of Stitch things.

Cheers, time to hit the pillows.

---

Two more days to go!

Hokkaido, Japan. 16th December 2009; Winter Wonderland

2009-12-24T23:18:00.003+08:00

Can you feel the mountains tremble.

♥Listening to: Heartbeat, 2pm.
♥Mood: tired
♥Location: in the hall, home alone

(Just to let you know, the first part was written during the morning, and the rest written after part of the White Christmas lyrics by KAT-TUN at nine plus ten ten to eleven.)

Ohaiyo minna-san!

Guess who I saw on the tele? Miura Haruma! :D The guy who acts as Yamato's buddy in Gokusen 3! He was advertising some hairspray. Though he only appeared for a mere two to three seconds or so, HE WAS STILL THERE! :D Ah, Kotaro Seishiro-kun kawaii desu ne! He was being interviewed for some upcoming movie and sneezed half way while answering the question! <3 Oh and it's SNOWING! Ima yuki ga maichiru~

Even though I had more than enugh time in the morning to wash up and etc, big brother woke up late and with my parents forcing me to finish just about everything, we were once again the last group to get up the bus. While waiting for my parents and brother to come down for breakfast, it started snowing again! :D Unnie got so excited and bounced on her seat a couple of times before running up to the window near her. Kawaii. Our first stop was at some mountain, where endless amount of sulfur dioxide spewed out into the atmosphere. No life can be found really near it, hence it's like a mini 'the end of the world'. The snow last night was so heavy that we could finally have a snowball fight! the way u the observation point was so slippery, so much that most of us slipped but had the wooden handrail for support(and the kind Japanese people). O: Took a tonne of pictures while appa went back to look for umma's snow cap at the hotel. We went to another sulfur mountain and IT WAS SNOWING! :D It was freezing cold too, as we were so high up the mountain. The shoe thing came off while we were having too much fun with our snowball fight.

While walking to our lunching place, they were playing a DongBang song! :D I think it's from the Secret Code album, idk. I've listen to so many of their songs that I forgot what was what. ^^' Appa gave a couple of stares before I snapped out of my fangirl mode. Lunch was delish, but I couldn't finish the udon. It was either the udon or the vegge. Vegge owns, duh. It was another two hours to our next destination, and there was so much snowing. It was on and off though, like it snowed at one part and gradually stop, then after a little sunshine it got cloudly and started snowing again. A winter wonderland! <3 I woke up an hour later after losing the feeling on my right leg. After several failed attempts to fall alseep, I ended up fiddling with the seat belt. Out of the blue, the lady in front told me to look outside and I was awestrucked. Appa was asleep so there was no way to capture such a beautiful scenary. Darn. At least unnie managed to wake up at took some photos. By the time my parents woke up, they missed ost of it.

When we finally got to the place that was all about seaweed, it was still snowing. :D And cold. After tasting all the freebies-I <3 the ice cream-we had another snowball fight? Thanks to all the snowing, there were huge chunks of snow. *insert evil laughter here* Our 'snowballs' could go up to around the size of an A5 paper. :D I got totally snowed, thanks a lot unnie. But it was fun! Another forty minutes to the next destination and by that time, it was already dark and slippery. ): The mini mall-ish place had about five to six main shops. The ramen stall, the bakery, the wooden toys store, the whale *ahem donghae ahem* store, the glass antique store and the bear museum. The bear museum had musical boxes that went up to 160+ thousand Singapore dollars. D: The glass antique store had mirrors that went up to thirty over Singapore dollars. ):

There were pretty mirrors with a clock in it! Aww, but it was so costly. Another snowball fight started by the slippery floor on the way to and out of the seafood market and the chocolate store. Big brother asked me to hold his mochi while he hurled a snowball mercilessly at me. We had a couple of hits each and on his last throw, it hit smack at my face, in my poor eyes. My sister and I had a snowball fight too. While we were fascinated by the snow caught on the leaves, she threw a huge handful of snow at me while I was still oh-so-fascinated. Next was a short trip to the mountains for a breath taking scenary and I got my revenge on big brother. >D I asked if it was cold while patting his should with my hand full of snow. He was like, "Basket," and I just snickered.

Dinner was after and boy, was it filling. Three eggs in one day. Chawanmushi for dinner and half boiled egg for breakfast and lunch. Headed back to the hotel, this time there wasn't any shops outside so we didn't go out. D: Time to hit the pillows, morning call at 530 Japan time.

P.D. I wrote 'aishiteru Kame<3' tonnes of times todasy on the window and 'Kame<3' on the cable car window. Kame was once again, written in Hiragana.

---

Second day done, third one up next! Gosh, it's tiring.

Hokkaido, Japan. 15th December 2009; when I hear my favourite song

2009-12-24T22:17:00.004+08:00

I know where we belong.

♥Listening to: Fairytale, Alexander Rybak
♥Mood: busy
♥Location: in the hall, home alone

Today was our first day on the tour. The flight to Osaka was good. Thanks to Philip, I think I managed to get over the motion sickness. Surprisingly, the domestic flight was not too bad as well. The landing, though bumpy, was not as bad as the flight to Shanghai. The temperature in the morning was negative four degrees Celsius, gradually increasing as it got around noon.

The beer factory was our first stop, where we got to learn how beer is made, packed and in our hands. Since the eligible age for drinking here is 20, they offered apple and orange juice for those below 20. I picked apple of course, just love it so much. My family and I snagged a couple of food from the place(shhh!) and guess what I saw at the souvenir corner? POTATO-KUN! <3>

We headed to the hotel after that and it had a public bath, so all of us had to go in nude and all. The three of us were pretty embarrased at first, but we got past it soon after. My sister is so friggin' thin. ): I love how skinny her legs are and hate how disgustingly huge and ugly looking my legs are. Envy her for that. ): I got a little light headed after that, so I went back to the room which I shared with my brother. He too was slumped on the futonn, obviously feeling the same way as I am right now. Flipped through the channels and went down to have a delish dinner. Everyone was practically forcing me to eat! Well, just my family so that's everyone, right? Anywasy, it's either that or my stomach will growl with hunger 15 minutes later. The rice was good, but too filling.

We had a really long photo taking session later, while staying the the same pose for more than ten cameras. Oh, the smiling. My brother, sister, CK and I went to out to walk around the area and bought some snacks from Seven Eleven. Their faces lit up when I told them about the 100 yen shop and died down to the calm mask when I told them I had no idea where it was. Still can't find it though. :/

SNOW IS SO SOFT AND FLUFFY! 8D Hopefully it snows more so that we can have a snowball fight, build snowmen, etc. Hee. :D Big brother just made me milo. <3>

---

So that's the first day, on to the next one then!

four hundredth and one post

2009-12-24T20:49:00.006+08:00

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

With that aside, I got awesome news.
Yan is sleeping over tonight! <3

Cheers, time for dinner.

P.s. I'll update about my trip to Hokkaido, Japan later.

"It's a 'do' note."

Hey y'all.

2009-12-14T14:46:00.000+08:00

♥Listening to: Everything, 4men.
♥Mood: excited
♥Location: in the hall

I'll be leaving for Hokkaido, Japan later tonight. ~~To those who know me, we'll chat through Facebook.~~Using the computer is expensive, so I'll text y'all once I'm back. Will be gone from the 14th to the 20th(it's a night flight back home), see y'all on the 21st!

xoxo, you know you love me, Mel. ♥

Chemical kids

2009-12-10T17:24:00.005+08:00

and mechanical brides

♥Listening to: Currents Convolusive, Pierce The Veil
♥Mood: Calm
♥Location: in the hall, home alone

OMGOSH, YAY! IPOD TOMORROW. MASSIVE TRANSFER OF SONGS TOMORROW.

Why tomorrow? 'Cause appa wants to play with the iPhone for a while.

"Better hide it from Clement first before handing it to him tomorrow."

How cute. Today was great, a jog in the afternoon, watched New Moon after with my brother. Once again, loads of scenes were missing from the book, and I'm going to put the Twilight saga into my phone just to look for the missing parts. The ending was weird. Well, it just sort of ended after "Will you marry me, Bella?"

Weird is weird.

Okay, Imma going to shower now. Going to get Copeland's songs after. (:

Time to laugh out loud.

2009-12-09T21:30:00.000+08:00

Arigatou Gozaimasu!

2009-12-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

OMGOSH, YAY. MY BROTHER JUST GAVE ME HIS IPOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH, MY DEAR BROTHER! <3

Nail art.

2009-12-09T15:23:00.003+08:00

Well, I've been playing with colours today, so here's the outcome. The bling is so hard to remove, so I think I'll be bringing one colour, the base coast, the top coat, remover, some cotton and tooth picks over to Hokkaido, Japan. :D

This was how it looked like just now.

This is how it looks like now. <3

So much fro trying to be understandable.

2009-12-08T23:54:00.002+08:00

1. I am not going deaf.

2. The music only appears loud to you and not to me cause the ear piece is of low quality and does not block out the music like it's suppose to.

3. I WILL pay for the repairs of my speakers if it EVER spoils.(I'm taking very good care of it by the way)

4. You, be quiet. I'm trying to do my QT here and you keep on blabbering on and on about every single stupid little detail.

5. BE QUIET. QT GOING ON HERE.

6. You. You talk about being understandable and about listening. I am doing that, you aren't. Get it right before you tell others what to do.

7. I was going to write an apology post-it, but now I'm not. Your attitude doesn't deserve that.

8. You don't listen.

9. You have to listen, even if it kills you. Does it take so much effort to get my words into that think skull of yours?

10. EDUCATE YOURSELF. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH.

11. Stop contradicting yourself when you're lecturing any one of us. It's annoying and I'm already irritable enough.

12. BE MORE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS. I am.(Thanks Na. <3)

13. SPEAK AND SCOLD IN PROPER ENGLISH.

14. Invasion of privacy much? It's rude, don't you have manners?

15. I'm 16, not your 'baby' anymore. Let me grow up for goodness sake.

Our Daily Bread, December 8th

2009-12-08T23:23:00.006+08:00

A Legacy Of Repentance

READ: Psalm 51

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart. —Psalm 51:17

All nations have heroes, but Israel may be alone in making epic literature about its greatest hero’s failings (Ps. 51). This eloquent psalm shows that Israel ultimately remembered David more for his devotion to God than for his political achievements.

Step-by-step, the psalm takes the reader through the stages of repentance. It describes the constant mental replays, the gnawing guilt, the shame, and finally the hope of a new beginning that springs from true repentance.

In a remarkable way, Psalm 51 reveals the true nature of sin as a broken relationship with God. David cries out, “Against You, You only, have I sinned” (v.4). He sees that the sacrifices God wants are “a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart” (v.17). Those, David has.

In his prayer, David looks for possible good that might come out of his tragedy and sees a glimmer of light. Perhaps by reading this story of sin others might avoid the same pitfalls, or by reading his confession they might gain hope in forgiveness. David’s prayer is answered and becomes his greatest legacy as king. The best king of Israel has fallen the farthest. But neither he, nor anyone, can fall beyond the reach of God’s love and forgiveness. — Philip Yancey

How blest is he whose trespass
Has freely been forgiven,
Whose sin is wholly covered
Before the sight of heaven. —Psalter

Repentance is the soil in which forgiveness flourishes.

Source: http://www.rbc.org/odb/odb.shtml

I think I just found my favourite chapter. Psalm 51. It's what my heart has been screaming for a very long time. All of a sudden, halfway through reading the chapter, "I forgive you." suddenly popped into my head and at that moment I just wanted to breakdown. Even now, though I may not be crying physically, tears of joy are just flowing out of my soul. I feel...happy. The joy of knowing that you're forgiven, no matter what horrible things you have done is just awesome. Of course, do your best not to commit those mistakes again. I'll do my best to lead my life as how God wants me to. And honestly, putting God in the center of your life clears all doubts, everything seems so 'light'.

Lord, I pray that you'll teach me to be more understandable, to be more patient, to be more like you. Amen.

⁴ I prayed to the LORD my God and confessed:
"O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with all who love him and obey his commands, ⁵ we have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from your commands and laws. ⁶ We have not listened to your servants the prophets, who spoke in your name to our kings, our princes and our fathers, and to all the people of the land. -Daniel 9: 4-6

¹⁸ Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength. ¹⁹ "Do not be afraid, O man highly esteemed," he said. "Peace! Be strong now; be strong." -Daniel 10: 18

¹¹Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God. ¹²Demetrius is well spoken of by everyone—and even by the truth itself. We also speak well of him, and you know that our testimony is true. -3 John 1: 11

Psalm 51

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

² Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

⁶ Surely you desire truth in the inner parts ^a]">[a] ;
you teach ^b]">[b] me wisdom in the inmost place.

⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

⁹ Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

¹⁴ Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

¹⁵ O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are ^c]">[c] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

¹⁸ In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.

¹⁹ Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Footnotes:

Psalm 51:6 The meaning of the Hebrew for this phrase is uncertain.
Psalm 51:6 Or you desired?; / you taught
Psalm 51:17 Or My sacrifice, O God, is

Source: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+51

Gibberish fills the air

2009-12-08T23:05:00.004+08:00

when everything else is tuned out.

♥Listening to: The tele.
♥Mood: Calm
♥Location: in the hall, home alone

Been working all day on it what not even a simple 'thank you'.

Been cutting, back aching, hand cramping and you have no idea how much it took for me to complete it.

Oh wow.

Am really tired now, and I find no joy in using the computer now, since I did what needed to do, there's nothing left. Random videos and Kame pictures don't interest me now, may be the pictures a little but I'd rather do my QT.

Hope to go out with Via soon, and omgosh, HOKKAIDO ON THE 14TH! :D

Cheers.

Look at the other end,

2009-12-07T15:01:00.005+08:00

there will always be light.

♥Listening to: Everything , 4men
♥Mood: Calm
♥Location: in the hall, home alone

Happy Sweet 16th, Cleris. ♥

For all your warmth and kindness
For the person that you are
I'm wishing that this birthday is your nicest one

For the thoughtful things you do
For all the joy you spread
I'm wishing life's very best throughout the year ahead

Have a blessed birthday.

P.S. My apologies for not being able to go for your birthday lunch. ):

P.P.S. I LOVE YOU! ♥

Our Daily Bread, December 5th

2009-12-06T00:55:00.002+08:00

♥Listening to: Ai no Hana(less vocal) , KAT-TUN; Ueda Tatsuya
♥Mood: Calm
♥Location: in the hall

Presents Or Presence?

READ: 1 John 2:24-29

In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. —Psalm 16:11

Oswald Chambers once wrote: “It is not God’s promises we need, it is [God] Himself.”

At Christmastime we often say, “God’s presence is more important than presents.” But the amount of time and effort we spend on shopping for gifts may indicate otherwise.

In certain parts of the world, people give gifts on December 6. By doing so, they have the rest of the month to focus on Jesus and the wonder of His birth, God’s perfect gift to us.

When we say we want God’s presence more than presents from others, perhaps we’re being truthful. But how many of us can honestly say that we want God’s presence more than His presents?

Often we want gifts from God more than we want God Himself. We want health, wealth, knowledge, a better job, a better place to live. God may indeed want to give us these things, but we can’t have them apart from Him. As David said, “In Your presence is fullness of joy” (Ps. 16:11). Presents may make us happy for a time; earthly gifts from God may make us happy temporarily, but fullness of joy comes only when we remain in a right relationship with God.

So, what would Christmas be like if we truly celebrated God’s presence? — Julie Ackerman Link

Lord, we want to remember You and Your coming in special ways this Christmas. Give us creativity and thoughtfulness in our planning. Help us to focus on Your presence and not on what we hope to give or receive.

God’s presence with us is one of His greatest presents to us.

Source: http://www.rbc.org/odb/odb.shtml

¹⁹We love because he first loved us. ²⁰If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. ²¹And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

1 John 4: 19-21

Source: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?version=NIV&search=Daniel+1-2%3b+1+John+4

We all adore a Mel.

2009-12-06T00:43:00.003+08:00

♥Listening to: Parasite(less vocal) , KAT-TUN; Tanaka Koki
♥Mood: hyper
♥Location: in the hall

I love that slogan there. :D Get all the crazy fun here yo.

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=Mel

Anyways, just a short one. I'm getting a little hyper here. After the late night drama watching, I pulled myself off the bed at 145pm. At least it was better than the day before yesterday when I was being a total noise hater and refused to wake up. That and because there was a dream that I didn;t want to let go. So Kame, Jin, Koki and Ueda has appeared in my dreams already, so where's Taguchi and Nakamaru? :D

Anyhoo, today was a tag team with appa. It was a artsy day for the both of us. A real SHINee*gets shot for the pun* artsy day thanks to the amount of glitter that was used. Almost done with Sylvia's present, like finally. Hope there will be enough time for the rest fo the presents though. Twinie's one is already late. Way late that you don't want to know how late it is cause I'll feel extremely awful(which I already do) to even type it here.

Cheers, going to do QT online before I sleep.

So you think you can dance.

2009-12-04T16:19:00.005+08:00

You just follow me.

♥Listening to: Everything , 4men
♥Mood: uncomfortable
♥Location: in the hall

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ekOhtNPamk&feature=related

My two favourite videos. <3 The second one is a link cause someone requested to disable the embedding.

These few days have been awesome even though I haven't been updating anywhere. No twitter, no Facebook, no Blogger, no Plurk, no Livejournal, no nothing cause I was busy attending Sara's sweet 16th party and doing up presents for my loves. One more for Halley to add in. Oh my. Loads of things to do. Anyways, before the party was shopping with umma. She bought this pair of knee length shorts from Fox for me, which is kind surprising cause she never gets me things from anywhere the moment I say "I want that." Other than food cause I get hungry easily like now. Amazing thing is, my parents didn't even say a word when I came home five minutes past midnight after the party. :D Other than that, I've been drama watching and catching up with Sylvia love. You have no idea how worried I became after she texted me saying how sad she was. Called her at the wrong time though. Heh. We chatted till two this morning and after texting a couple of people-I seem to be able to reply to messages only at night these days- I hit the pillows.

IRIS IS ON TONIGHT! My apologies for the random-ness. Which reminds me, I still have to watch the first few episode of Iris and add one more drama to my list, which makes it a total of 10 dramas to catch. How in the world am I suppose to squeeze in 10 dramas with the time I have now?

Cheers, busy busy.

Keep what you love

2009-12-01T17:41:00.002+08:00

trash what you don't.

♥Listening to: Everything , 4men
♥Mood: tired
♥Location: in the hall

Head hurts, time to hit the pillows. Will be working on the presents tonight. Gosh, IRIS.

Rewinding

2009-12-01T12:52:00.002+08:00

a recorded tape.

After the tiring but refreshing hike at Bukit Timah, Wee Chong asked if I was free to watch a movie, but we had to gather people first. Best thing was, he was treating. :D After two hours of texting and calling, I only managed to drag Ben and Cheryl(Boey) along. Thing is, they were not 16 yet and neither do they look like one so we couldn't watch Case 39. Ninja Assassin is also out, cause it's M18. So, we decided to watch 2012, since the three haven't watched it yet. It wasn't too bad, I mean, I laughed and teared at the same parts. The 3D version might be coming out soon, I think. Cheryl and I shared the double combo meal(which was my lunch), and made so many comments about it. Gosh, she is a chatterbox. Being a chatterbox isn't all that bad, but it also means you hace to keep talking to her. In the end, Ben and Wee Chong were totally left out and the two of us just keep going, going, going. Especially Ben. My apologies to him. ):

I don't want to talk about what happened afetr the movie, but Cheryl, please don't do that ever again. It's not funny. You. Totally owe me one.

After having a late night doing some presents, I went for the dental appointment in the morning half awake. Dozed off a couple of times on the chair and slept in the car after. The rubber bands are now red and green, all in the name of Christmas. Been tuning into 172 ever since I got back and managed to catch Pops in Seoul! <3 Alrightie, today's another busy day of present making.

Cheers~

Again and again.

2009-11-30T14:18:00.004+08:00

and time goes by.

♥Listening to: Precious One, KAT-TUN
♥Mood: tired
♥Location: in the hall

Rush rush, watching a movie today, Wee Chong's treating. :D 2012 again, but it's a nice movie. The 3D version is not out yet, darn. Sad, four people going including myself are watching it later. Everyone's busy today! The hike wasn't too bad. At least no one got hurt. Almost sprained my ankle today while walking to the bus stop, thank God I didn't. Gomen to Hui Ying for being so busy contacting people and that I didn't really manage to hold a conversation to you on the way home.

Cheers, busy busy!

Hide and seek.

2009-11-29T23:27:00.001+08:00

♥Listening to: Everything, 4men
♥Mood: tired
♥Location: in the hall

No pictures, no colours, no nothing cause blogger is acting all screwy again. Time to give blogger some love yo.

Went out with Jac and Hui on Tuesday to Escape, rode a couple of rides and dried off on the Kite Flyer before going cycling. VIKING IS AWESOME. :D While going down a rather steep slope, I avoided this cyclist but I went off the cement path and crashed. Eight bruises and a couple of scratches, nothing too serious. Had late night chats with Sylvia and Cheryl Boey and watched dramas in the day until Friday. After losing track of time, I went to church for Botanical Gardens Day, thinking that it was Saturday. BGD on Saturday was great. Although it rained, but we had our fun. Xuewei is officially the new Hui Qi. Nothing much today, other than bumping into Guo Liang after lunch and chatted with him for a while. Headed home after that for an evening run and stopped when I had slight difficulty in breathing. Not all that recovered from the flu yet, I guess. Appa finally bought white glue. :D That sentence deserves a smiley, even though I'm dead beat.

Abracadabra

2009-11-28T12:59:00.004+08:00

Make every disappear.

♥Listening to: G.O.O.D. Luv, MBLAQ
♥Mood: annoyed
♥Location: in the hall

Like STFU already. So what if the music is on too loud, I like it that way. Besides, it's not my fault that the ear pieces are like that.

So, RE didn't say anything on their website that I can't look for another job while waiting for them to reply. I have three jobs that I can try out for but what if RE finds out and there is really a fine for that? To go, or not to go? This job came from my BFF and now she's not even replying. She may be busy, but not too busy to reply a text message, yes?

Thanks to this, now there won't be any money for me to spend during my stay at Hokkaido, Japan. Stupid shit.

On a brighter note, BGD(Botanical Garden Day) is in about an hours time! Funny thing happened yesterday. I thought i was on the phone with Sylvia love on Friday, so like when it past 12 midnight, I thought the it was Saturday and went to church for BGD and the camp comm were like, "What are you here for?" Gosh, it was so embarrassing.

Late night chats with Cheryl(Boey) and Sylvia love sure is a great way to do catching up. 'Kay, got to rip the audio from a video now before I do some packing.

P.S. CAC CAMP NEXT YEAR! :D

Cheers.

Doki doki and the funnies.

2009-11-28T00:14:00.003+08:00

My heart goes pumpin' when Kame takes off his jacket and puts it on again. <3 It's just the way he does it. Kimi wo aishiteru~

'Eye liner was made for Kame!' Quote by a lovely LJ user whose name I forgot.

Anyhoo, CAR SHRIMP! :D Any KAT-TUN fan would know what I'm talking about.

"Why Jennifer?"

That was so adorable. His accent is love. <3

Fail!Chinese, all of them. <3

Kame wanted to say '我爱你们' but it came out two ways, '我爱你妈' or '我爱你吗'. How adorkable.

The guy who has sensitive collar bones. <3

Speaking of the Lips making, here are some of my favourite parts. HAHA. Jin, Koki and Kame. <3

Not really a fan of the paring Kokame, but this one is love. Wonder how ~~heavy~~light Kame is?

"My mom lost weight."

"I don't care!"

OMGOSH, JIN. Great acting. :D

FACTORY DORAMA TIME! :D

That one is the whole set, all except the White Christmas one.

Here it is! :D

Akame moment. <3 If you listen car(SHRIMP!)efully, you can figure out how Kame and Jin managed to call Mr Woody at the same time.

There's also my favourite part in the Real Face PV making, but it's a lot to go through so till the next time.

Fresh new look.

2009-11-21T14:45:00.002+08:00

No picture to start this post, cause I'm really rushing. CG is starting in 15 minutes! OMGOSH! So like anyways, (gosh, that was bimbotic) I edited the header, changed the background and the playlist. I wanted the colour scheme for the playlist to be pink, but somehow blue suits it better. You know what, never mind. Pink suits it just fine. Just because. ;D

Anyways, whatev to the fact that umma's nagging at me now. WHATEV. I have Big Bang's Koe wo Kokasete to calm down plus I'm going to leave the house for CG like now. NOW.

Cheers, will be back whenever.

Brings back memories

2009-11-21T13:25:00.002+08:00

that I'm now determined to erase.

♥Listening to: Koe wo Kikasete, Big bang
♥Mood: okay
♥Location: in the hall

Anniversary, Kinki Kids
(kanji, romanji, and the translation)

星の数ほどいる人のなかでボクは
偶然、あの日出逢い恋に落ちたよ

愛が苦しみだともし教えられても
ボクは迷わずにキミを選んだだろう

この空で数え切れない星が

生まれては人知れず消えてゆくよ

『キミヲアイシテル』そんなひとことが
飾らずに言えたならどんなに楽なんだろう
もう二度とキミを泣かせたくないから
何気ない今日と云う日がボクらの記念日

なんか不思議なんだキミがボクを好きな
理由がわからないよ …そんなもんかな?

趣味や仕草だって違っているけれど
最近、似てきた…と友達(まわり)に言われる

嘘吐(つ)いてキミを泣かせたあの日
ただボクは黙ったまま何も出来ず

キミがいるだけでありふれた日々が
鮮やかに彩られ愛が満ちてゆくよ
この気持ちだけは忘れたくないから
何気ない今日と云う日がボクらの記念日

『キミヲアイシテル』そんなひとことが
飾らずに言えたならどんなに楽なんだろう
もう二度とキミを泣かせたくないから
何気ない今日と云う日がボクらの記念日

---

hoshi no kazu hodo iru hito no naka de boku wa
guuzen, ano hi deai koi ni ochita yo

ai ga kurushimi da to moshi oshieraretemo
boku wa mayowazu ni kimi wo eranda darou

kono sora de kazoekirenai hoshi ga
umarete wa hitoshirezu kiete yuku yo

"kimi wo ai shiteru" sonna hitokoto ga
kazarazu ni ieta nara donna ni raku nan darou
mou nido to kimi wo nakasetakunai kara
nanigenai kyou to iu hi ga bokura no kinenbi

nanka fushigi nanda kimi ga boku wo suki na
riyuu ga wakaranai yo... sonna mon kana?

shumi ya shigusa datte chigatte iru keredo
saikin, nite kita... to mawari ni iwareru
uso tsuite kimi wo nakaseta ano hi
tada boku wa damatta mama nani mo dekizu

kimi ga iru dake de arifureta hibi ga
azayaka ni irodorare ai ga michite yuku yo
kono kimochi dake wa wasuretakunai kara
nanigenai kyou to iu hi ga bokura no kinenbi

"kimi wo ai shiteru" sonna hitokoto ga
kazarazu ni ieta nara donna ni raku nan darou
mou nido to kimi wo nakasetakunai kara
nanigenai kyou to iu hi ga bokura no kinenbi

---

There are as many people as there are stars
And one day, by chance, out of all those people, I met you and fell in love

Even if someone had told me that love is pain
I would still have chosen you without hesitation

In this sky, countless stars are born
And die without anyone knowing it

Those words, “I love you”
How much better I would have felt if I’d just come out and said them
I never want to make you cry again
So today, this random day, is our anniversary

It’s kind of mysterious – you like me too
I don’t know why…is that why?

We have different hobbies and mannerisms
But lately we’ve become alike…that’s what everyone says
That day when I told a lie and made you cry
I just kept quiet, unable to do anything

Just having you here brings vivid colours
To these ordinary days, and fills me with love
I don’t want to forget this feeling
So today, this random day, is our anniversary

Those words, “I love you”
How much better I would have felt if I’d just come out and said them
I never want to make you cry again
So today, this random day, is our anniversary

---

Rest in Peace.

2009-11-20T15:00:00.003+08:00

We'll miss you.

A day ago, I went for a wake. Roland Soo, a wonderful teacher, a wonderful pianist, a wonderful brother, we'll miss you. His children were crying so badly and even till now I can still picture his daughter crying.

We'll miss you.

Yesterday and today was mostly drama watching. I'll make sure appa buys Gokusen the Movie back. I don't care, HE MUST. Worship practice at 730 later, will be practicsing after some drama watching. ;D

Cheers.

P.S. There's research to do for the upcoming Geography trip. Oh wow.

Happy Birthday.

2009-11-18T22:59:00.005+08:00

♥Listening to: Gossip Girl, Rainbow

♥Mood: cheerful
♥Location: in the hall

Happy Sweet 16th Birthday, Na. <3

For all your warmth and kindness
For the person that you are
I'm wishing that this birthday is your nicest one

For the thoughtful Things you do
For all the Joy you spread
I'm wishing life's very best throughout the year ahead

Have a blessed birthday, my love.

You deserve more than a text message, more than a couple of words. You deserve a birthday post, just for you! Of course, a hug will be given to you on Saturday. ;D

Happy Sweet 16th, Na! Finally, you're 16. You can watch as many NC16 movies as you want and you can find a proper job too! Anyways, back to the real wishing~

I've always been glad to have known you in this small world, in this lifetime. I thank God for bringing you into not only mine but many other lives, adding colours of the rainbow to make life more interesting. He has brought you through so many years and with many blessings along the way. Looking back, it has already been 16 years since you breathed your first and you're doing alive and well, to this day! Amen to that!

You've grown so much, from being adorable and immature to still looking adorable(and pretty) and extremely mature for your age. Although you have faced countless problems along the way, always remember to stand up and keep moving forward. Your friends, family and of course our Heavenly Father will always give our full support to you. God doesn't give us things that are impossible for us. He gives us such trials to mold us to become a better person, to be more like Him. When you're tired, pray. If you're still tired, go and sleep!

Although the life of a sec four may seem daunting, but if you have gotten this far, this proves to show that you can go even further, for the only true failure is when one stops trying. Believe in yourself, believe in the Father. For life is a mixture of sunshine and rain. Laughter and teardrops, pleasure and pain. Low tides and high tides, mountains and plains, triumphs, defeats and losses and gains. But there never was a cloud that the Son didn't shine through and there's nothing impossible for Jesus Christ to do!

Matt 5: 13-16

¹³"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

¹⁴"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Always there for you, Mel♥

Time to let go.

2009-11-12T20:29:00.002+08:00

'Never allow someone to be your priority
While allowing yourself to be their option'

♥Listening to: Koe wo Kikasete (Club Mix), Big Bang
♥Mood: pensive
♥Location: in the hall

I've decided to let go, to move on, to not brood over it anymore, to be happy. We both got enough of each other, I guess. It's time to let go cause there's no reason for me to be around, for me to hang on to something that can never be relived. We can't go back to that story, never again.

Sure, we shared our lives with each other. We shared all the laughs and tears. Through thick and thin but everything was short-lived. If a friendship can last only this long and to have so many problems along the way, it's best to let go. BFFs. The 'forever' sure was long. Oh wow.

True friends.

I finally found them and I've got three, no four in fact. One of them being the obvious, our Father in Heaven for He will never fail me. Truth really does hurts and when people change, you won't know which way they'll go. Only thing is, as long as we're standing on the same spot and looking at the same direction, we'll be fine.

So, it's time to get up from this dump and let go. Cause, you are not worthy of me. It's your loss, not mine. Yours, not mine.

Goodbye, our sweet memories will forever be in my heart.

Back trackkkkkkkk. Part two

2009-11-08T22:27:00.005+08:00

every person individually, no matter who they are carry troubles as they live
and desperately hold onto their broken heart

♥Listening to: Koe wo Kikasete (Club Mix), Big Bang
♥Mood: calm
♥Location: in the hall

-Point form, cause the full update is long.

-Friday was awesome cause I ATTENDED NLW'S MONTHLY PRAYER MEETING! :D Saw Na, Jill, and a couple more youths. Made fun of the Chinese dub of some English movie and laughed with Jill.

-Umma totally ruined my plans for Saturday cause she had to bring me to the Doctor. Thanks to that, I couldn't help Jill with her umma's birthday present. Had to cancel out on Michelle too, cause I had Prayer meeting at three and I had to meet her at one, so it was impossible for me to make it back in time for Prayer Meeting. Prayer Meeting turned out to be a mini CG session cause of the mini sharing session after the main prayers.

-Sunday was dry, cause I was distracted by many things going through my mind. Even after countless prayers, I was still feeling distracted. HQ and I were late for Confi Class so we attended the 130pm class. We made friends with Guo Liang who is attending this class as a Baptism class, not Confi class. He's another person who couldn't get my anme right and ended up calling me Mel. ;D Not that I mind but it's still a mystery to me as for why people get my name wrong. He kept calling me 'Melanie'.

P.S. Koe wo Kikasete is on repeat. The club remix that is.

Cheers, busy busy.

"It's a 'do' note."

Back trackkkkkkkk. Part one

2009-11-08T21:28:00.003+08:00

yeah, since you went away hasn't been the same
in my heart, all I got is pain
could it be that I played a game to lose you, I can't maintain
sunlight, moonlight, you lit my life, realize in the night
while love shines bright
cant let you go; we're meant forever, baby let me know

Had a wonderfully weird dream with Jin, Kame and myself on Thursday night to Friday morning.

I have no idea how but the dream started out with the three of us at some sheltered pathway. Apparently they were taking me to somewhere but they never really did mention where. Out of the blue, Jin told Kame to eat the chocolate they got from earlier before going into this factory of some sort. Just as they were done popping it into their mouth and resumed walking, I went and hugged Jin from behind, making puppy dog eyes as I asked him for some too when he turned. He then bit the chocolate he was eating into half and fed it to me. I licked the melted chocolate off his fingers too.Kame was standing nearby, watching everything with a blank expression on his face.

When we entered the place, Kame disappeared. Like really, out of the picture, no where to be found. Suddenly Jin grabbed my hand and we started running. In and out of rooms we went. There were many girls in each room that tried to separate us, either by force or by words, saying words like a wasn't a virgin, having slept with uncountable number of men. To put it simply, they were saying that I was some whore. We just kept running, hand in hand with Jin tossing assuring glances at me. He didn't believed a single word they said, I was glad. We then entered a corridor where two hordes of girls were waiting for us. Like gladiators they charged at us, pulling us apart. Jin was shouting my name and I was shouting his as we reached for each other but the girls were two strong.e were out numbered, obviously. Not only did they manage to separate us, they managed to throw me on the ground. Armed with eggs, metal poles and fire extinguishers, they hit me with whatever they got, laughing sadistically.

They sprayed at my face and I was blinded for a sometime but I felt as if I had dreamed about this part and knew the outcome. Quickly, I garnered all my strength, broke free from the girls and went to drag Jin away from the horrifying fangirls before making a run for it. He lead the run soon after he regained his balance and our hands interlocked.

I have no memory whatsoever after that other than us standing at the sheltered path again, just the two of us. Suddenly I was walking down alongside some street stalls, all cleaned up. Feeling bored, I rang up Kame. His voice was husky and he sounded tired. Looks like I woke him up from his slumber. I told him that I was bored and went on to tell him what happened just now with Jin, jumping from random topic to random topic. He then interjected, but I forgot what he said. I could only remember him saying irately, "Go read some magazines then!" After concluding that he was mad cause Jin and I left him out earlier, or maybe he was jealous. Then I woke up.

Darn, I wished I remembered more of it. I find it weird that I was so close to Jin in this dream when actually Kame's my Ichiban.

Beauty and the Beast

2009-11-06T03:12:00.004+08:00

No pictures or the usual music, mood, location this time, cause I swore to myself that I would sleep after reading that 20 chapter fic. Gosh it was long, but it was good. Kept me up for hours! Sigh, the things that flew through my mind were rather depressing, so to say. Even with all the fluff going on in the fic.

I am...a coward.

There, I said it. I ran away from things, I refuse to accept reality. Being in denial, living in my own made up fantasy world, my only nirvana. It seems so much happier that way, so much safer from all the troubles of the world. Thing is, one must learn how to step down from cloud nine and garner up all the courage one has and face reality.

It thundered, just now. Not only did it echo through the whole house, it made everything shake. The ground was shaking so hard as if a major tremour just hit it due to the aftermath of some earthquake at some place in some part of the world. Maybe I'm exaggerating but you get the idea. A wave of fear overwhelmed me. It was going to rain, but it didn't. Thank goodness for that.

Like any other similar situations, I'll avoid it, I'll not look up over there anymore, I'll not make it my daily routine to go there anymore when I know so well that it will only bring me hurt. It may not be raining outside, but it's raining inside. I wished it would stop raining for I thought I would be over it by now, but no. Obviously I'm not when it comes running straight to me everyday.

I wanted my eyes to be blinded by sunlight, not fatigued from the many tears I have shed. I wanted to say or rather, shout these words.

"You're the worst mistake I've ever made. I want to give up on you, once and for all."

It sounds harsh, doesn't it? That's why I won't say it cause it is too unlike me to say something like that. I'm not known for saying such words and I don't want to. Why is it that when I do something downright unlike me, when it is really just part of another facet, they are appalled by it and in some cases, it damages the friendship?

The only thing I can do is to harangue myself for all the mistakes that I've made, but honestly speaking I am flabbergasted by the reaction given. We used to laugh together, we weren't afraid of anything. Now even speaking much less a whisper between us is like a taboo of some sort.

I can't accept the fact that it's over, but it is.

One more thing,

Happy Sweet 16th, Huilin.

I shall end here, cause raking up the past is depressing. There's no one to cry to, there never was.

Cheers.

Header problem.

2009-11-03T22:11:00.004+08:00

♥Listening to: Crazy Love, KAT-TUN
♥Mood: accomplished
♥Location: in the hall

"but the sweetest one gives toothache”

No, really. Just finished redoing my blog, like changing the skin and blog song. The header is pretty screwed up, so I'll redo it again when I have the time tomorrow. What the heck, I have all the time in the world, cause the holidays are here! *throws confetti*

Running with Michelle tomorrow. 'Bout time I started working out, my body's in horribly bad shape. I feel awfully fat.

Cheers, time to hit the pillows~

"It's a 'do' note."

It;s funny cause

2009-10-21T17:23:00.005+08:00

Listening to: Ichibu to Zenbu, B'z
Mood: Sad, and I'll be depressed if I keep thinking about it.
Location: in the hall, home alone.

you only know a little of me.

Time to listen to Ichibu to Zenbu again, in an attempt to cheer myself up. Going to see the doctor now.

The one who's left out, out of the five.

I'll be changing my header and blog song soon enough, after next Wednesday when everything's over. Honestly, can someone just stop me from thinking so much? Taking note of small little details that may seem nothing to others, but the world to me. Interpreting them is what makes things bad. It's not even raining yet and I'm already so under the weather.

Cheers, another time then.

Sad.

2009-10-17T21:49:00.003+08:00

ignorance is bliss.

So many things happened during such a short period of time, and I guess I'm the one who's to blame after all. If only those words stay hidden, things would still be the same. Everyone would be happy. A insignificant spec in their lives, yes I am, aren't I?

Blame me, not her.

Hate me if you must, but at least make her happy.

Fairies.

2009-10-06T16:25:00.002+08:00

This is the sweetest thing anyone said about him, and I thank that person for that.

---

Many people, when they saw Ueda for the first time, thought he was strange. He doesn't say much, wears some odd clothes, is adorned with spikes and seems to be lost in another world. He goes through some different stages: sometimes he'll be very serious and hard-working, giving his all to the performances he does. Other times, he'll seem sullen and unattentive, and his work looks half-hearted. These are not just the mood-swings of some celebrity. Ueda is a complicated person, and those who can't see his good side are just not looking closely enough.

Ueda has gone through some changes since joining KAT-TUN. He used to be quite depressive and had a bleak outlook on the future. He was concerned that he didn't have much of place in the band - not because of any ego, just because he wanted to belong. People often asked him what his role was in the band, what he planned to be in the future, and what he would bring to KAT-TUN. This troubled him, because he didn't know.

As fans, we don't know for sure what went on during that time, but we saw the transformation. It seemed like Kamenashi Kazuya took Ueda under his wing, befriended him, and tried his best to protect him. It didn't take long for Ueda to start coming out of his shell, and soon he was an optimistic, important member of the group. Now he has the brightest smile in the whole of the Johnny's and a renewed confidence.

His band-mates all agree that he is an interesting character, and many describe him as "pure". He has also been described as the "cool" member, but this isn't the typical kind of "cool". Ueda is not a huge follower of fashion, he isn't pretentious or "tough", doesn't try to fit in with the crowd, and has a sensitivity that most "cool" people would look down on. Ueda has a style and smoothness that cannot be summed up in words. He is unique, and that is what his fans truly admire about him.

Most people don't have the imagination to see fairies, as Ueda does. Likewise, many people aren't able to appreciate the true greatness of Ueda. So, open your minds, take a closer look at the little Elf-like artist, and maybe, someday you, too, will see fairies...

---

Reading this some how brightened up my mood. (: